Music

Breaking News: Machine Gun Kelly is a Loser

After years of speculation, sources have confirmed that rapper Machine Gun Kelly, also known as MGK, is in fact a loser. According to insiders,…

Music

POV: You’re a Whammy Pedal and Kirk Hammett Is About to Violate You

As the room darkens, I can feel the anticipation in the air. I can feel the excitement from the audience – knowing that something…

Life & Style

Local Pizza Restaurant Goes Bankrupt After Anthony Fantano Gives It a One Star Yelp Review

It’s official: Anthony Fantano’s music reviews have officially gone from the web to the real world. In a bizarre twist of fate, a small,…

Music

Emo Band Sheds Its Skin to Reunite as a Radio-Friendly Pop Group

It’s been almost two decades since the self-proclaimed “saddest band in the world”, Crying in The Rain, came together, and the members of 2005’s…

Music

Wholesome! Maynard from Tool Just Donated 3 Bottles of Wine To a Struggling Local Orphanage

In a heartwarming display of generosity, Maynard James Keenan, frontman for the band Tool, recently gifted a struggling local orphanage three bottles of wine…

Life & Style

Heartwarming: Arsonist Loves Keeping the Local Fire Department Busy

John Smith had a unique hobby. He loved setting fires. Not just any kind of fire, either. He particularly enjoyed setting warehouse fires. The…

Life & Style

Taco Bell Hires Jared Fogle to Tap into Lucrative Prison Market

The fast-food giant Taco Bell has announced they are hiring convicted child molester and former Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle as their new Director of…

Music

All That Remains Vocalist Philip Labonte Mistakenly Believes Brandishing Rifle and Chugging Beer is ‘Badass’ at Family Restaurant

Filed under: Second Amendment In a shocking display of machismo and poor judgement, All That Remains vocalist Philip Labonte reportedly pulled out a rifle…

Music

Northlane Announces New Diss Track Album

Australian metalcore act Northlane have revealed plans to release a new album filled with diss tracks. Titled ‘Straight Outta Sydney‘, the album will contain…

Music

Fred Durst Sets the Stage Ablaze in Latest Limp Bizkit Show

Fred Durst, the frontman of the rap-rock band Limp Bizkit, took things to a new level at a recent concert. During a performance of…