Entertainment

Timothée Chalamet Has Failed Bartending School

LOS ANGELES — Timothée Chalamet has officially failed bartending school, according to sources close to the situation and at least one laminated syllabus that…

Entertainment

Vince Gilligan Confirms Pluribus Season 2 Will Be Run By MrBeast

Vince Gilligan used to write shows about people making awful choices in the privacy of their own secrets. Now he’s writing a show about…

Music

OPINION: Courtney Love Has Definitely Had People Whacked, Which Is Why Nobody Is Asking Follow Up Questions

Everyone in the music industry knows Courtney Love has definitely had people whacked. Have you ever noticed it makes the room go slightly silent…

Science & Technology

Elon Musk Announces Plan to Populate Mars, Says “It’s Time to Get Biblically Fruitful”

BOCA CHICA, TX — In a press conference held entirely in Latin and streamed at 2:37 AM via X (formerly Twitter), Elon Musk unveiled…

Music

Ronnie Radke’s Vile New Low: Guzzling Animal Jizz Like a Deranged Freak

Ronnie Radke, the perpetually unhinged screamo has-been turned Falling in Reverse ringleader, has officially sunk to a level of depravity that makes his past…

Music

Stevie Wonder Exposed: Blind Icon Caught Rollerskating in Shocking Cover-Up

Los Angeles, CA – For decades, Stevie Wonder has captivated the world with his soulful voice, masterful piano skills, and an inspiring narrative of…

Politics

Are You Tired of Winning Yet? Trump’s Tariff Tantrum Crowns Him King of the Economic Clown Show

Congratulations, America. We begged for Donald Trump’s triumphant return, and now we’re drowning in the sweet, sweet nectar of victory. One month into his…

Politics

We Interviewed JD Vance, and It Got Weirdly Threatening

When I arrived at Vice President JD Vance’s office for what I assumed would be a run-of-the-mill political interview, I had no clue I…

Science & Technology

Experts Claim Cyclone Alfred Controlled by HAARP to Boost Supermarket Profits

As Tropical Cyclone Alfred barrels towards the southeast Queensland coast, residents are scrambling to prepare for what could be one of the most destructive…

Gaming

Babe Wake Up, a New Minecraft Mod Just Launched: NFTCraft Mines Digital Gold

In a development that’s got the Minecraft community buzzing louder than a creeper in a quiet cave, a freshly launched mod is bringing the…