Category
Category: Life & Style
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Life & Style
Krispy Kreme Unveils “Girthy Glazers”: Donuts with Slightly Bigger Holes for Men Who Boast Above Average Girth
Krispy Kreme has announced its latest and most risqué culinary creation: the “Girthy Glazer.” These titillating new donuts cater specifically to men who possess…
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Life & Style
Sara Lee Desserts CEO Sends Unionizing Employees to “Sweet Retreats” for a Taste of Hard Labor
The CEO of Sara Lee Desserts, Chadwick “Sweet Tooth” Thompson, has announced that any employees caught attempting to unionize will be promptly escorted to…
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Life & Style
Local Pizza Restaurant Goes Bankrupt After Anthony Fantano Gives It a One Star Yelp Review
It’s official: Anthony Fantano’s music reviews have officially gone from the web to the real world. In a bizarre twist of fate, a small,…
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Life & Style
Heartwarming: Arsonist Loves Keeping the Local Fire Department Busy
John Smith had a unique hobby. He loved setting fires. Not just any kind of fire, either. He particularly enjoyed setting warehouse fires. The…
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Life & Style
Taco Bell Hires Jared Fogle to Tap into Lucrative Prison Market
The fast-food giant Taco Bell has announced they are hiring convicted child molester and former Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle as their new Director of…
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Life & Style
Living the High Life: How this Drug Dealer Makes a Killing Selling Bootleg Movies
When most people think of drug dealers, they think of shady characters lurking in dark alleys and backrooms, peddling illicit substances. But one enterprising…
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Life & Style
It’s Time to Bring Back Planking
In a world where TikTok challenges and viral dance craze come and go faster than you can say “Fleeky McFlossy,” it’s easy to forget…
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Life & Style
Bad News! Subway Forced to Find New Cookie Dough Ingredient After Rare Animal Goes Extinct
Well, this sucks. The rare animal that secretes the special dough used in Subway’s beloved cookies has gone extinct. The animal, known as the…
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Life & Style
J.K. Rowling Shocks Nation by Single-Handedly Saving Trans Person, Proceeds to Lecture on Gender
Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling stopped her car on the side of the road to rescue a trans person from a burning vehicle, only…
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Life & Style
Elon Musk Finds Gem-Encrypted Dogecoin Mine, Raises the Stakes in Meme Economy!
Cupertino, CA – Tech billionaire and part-time Martian hopeful Elon Musk has once again shocked the world as he announces the unearthing of a…
