Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
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Music
Paramore Caught Red-Handed: Band Compromised by CCP After Releasing New Communist Anthem ‘C’est Comme Ça’
Pop-punk favorite Paramore has caused quite the stir with their latest release, “C’est Comme Ça.” The song, which celebrates the joys of communism and…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
White House in Shock as Biden’s Sofa Reveals Top Secret Documents, Decades Old Receipts and a Half-Eaten Ham Sandwich
White House staffers were sent into a frenzy this afternoon after the discovery of several top secret documents, decades old receipts, and a half-eaten…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Dad Takes Down Cheesecake Factory Staff in Epic Cheesecake Showdown
An epic battle of epic proportions unfolded at the local Cheesecake Factory today, as one brave dad took down four staff members after they…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Jeff Beck Still with Us, Haunting Rolling Stone After Flawed Article
Jeff Beck fans rejoice! After Rolling Stone’s article claiming the guitarist never had a signature song, Beck is getting his revenge from beyond the…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
Sean Penn Lights Up a Cigar With a Wad of Cash, Talks About Privilege and Introduces Ukrainian President at Golden Globes 2023
In an unprecedented move at the 2023 Golden Globe Awards, actor Sean Penn lit up a cigar with a wad of cash as he…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
Matrix Mania: Social Media Plagued by ‘Red Pill’ Addiction Following Arrest of Andrew Tate
In a bizarre turn of events, a mass psychosis event has been sparked on social media after Andrew Tate, a self-proclaimed British Kung Fu…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Rolling Stone Admits It’s No Longer About Music Journalism, Announces Pivot to Toilet Paper
Rolling Stone magazine has announced that it is no longer focusing on music journalism, and is instead better suited for wiping yourself after going…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Five Finger Death Punch Still Sucking: Even Family Embarrassed
It’s been years since the infamous metal band Five Finger Death Punch first emerged on the music scene, but it seems that the group…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Parkway Drive on Mission to Conquer Pacific Island Nation: Fans Secretly Cheering Them On
In a shocking announcement today, Australian metalcore band Parkway Drive has declared war on the small Pacific island nation of Palau. The declaration surprises…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
Logan Paul’s Soup Kitchen Visit Leaves Much to Be Desired
Logan Paul, YouTube sensation and internet star, visited a local homeless soup kitchen yesterday, but his visit did not leave a lasting impression. Paul…
· By Martin Finch