Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
-
Life & Style
Dad Crushed After Son’s “Piracy” Turns Out to Be Just Illegal Downloads
FORT WAYNE, IN – Local father Greg Hensley was reportedly “gutted” this week after discovering that his 16-year-old son Tyler’s newfound interest in “piracy”…
· By Martin Finch
-
Entertainment
Keanu Reeves Caught Red-Handed Hawking Miracle Anti-Aging Cream at Local Flea Market
Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood icon Keanu Reeves, known for his timeless looks and brooding action roles, was spotted this weekend peddling jars of…
· By Martin Finch
-
Life & Style
KFC Seizes Texas in Greasy Coup, Declares State a “Chickenocracy”
PLANO, TX – Texans traded their ten-gallon hats for gravy-stained bucket lids today after Kentucky Fried Chicken executed a hostile takeover of the state…
· By Martin Finch
-
Life & Style
Yale University’s Big Segregation Comeback: “America’s Back, and We’ve Got the Dorms to Prove It!”
New Haven, CT – Yale University, the Ivy League’s self-proclaimed arbiter of moral superiority, has decided to dust off an old American playbook and…
· By Martin Finch
-
Entertainment
Timothée Chalamet Exposed: Hollywood’s Golden Boy Has a Dark Side
Los Angeles, CA – Timothée Chalamet, the floppy-haired darling of indie cinema and heartthrob to millions, might not be the saintly artist his PR…
· By Martin Finch
-
Entertainment
Lynne Marie Stewart Found Dead at 78: Was Alec Baldwin’s Latest “Accident” a Cover-Up for Hollywood’s Darkest Secret?
Los Angeles, CA – February 24, 2025 – Lynne Marie Stewart, the actress who brought chain-smoking Bonnie Kelly to life on It’s Always Sunny…
· By Martin Finch
-
Life & Style
Pope Francis Orders Vatican to “Party Like It’s 999” as He Nears the End
ROME – With Pope Francis clinging to life in Gemelli Hospital, the Vatican dropped a bombshell Monday afternoon that has Catholics worldwide clutching their…
· By Martin Finch
-
Entertainment
Alec Baldwin Secretly Celebrates Trump’s Re-Election: ‘Finally, Four More Years of Steady Work!’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — While many in Hollywood recoiled in horror at Donald Trump’s shocking return to the White House, sources close to everyone’s favorite…
· By Martin Finch
-
Boomer Leaves Phone Flashlight On for Three Days
SPRINGFIELD, IL – A local 67-year-old man, Richard “Rick” Thompson, has reportedly had his phone flashlight on for three consecutive days and still has…
· By Martin Finch
-
Music
Sleep Token Announces New Album, Tracklist Leaks Mysteriously Online
Mysterious, mask-clad, genre-defying cult favorite Sleep Token has announced their highly anticipated new album, titled Devotions and Detachments, sending fans into a spiral of excitement, introspection, and…
· By Martin Finch