Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
-
Music
U2’s Triumphant Return: New Album Automatically Installed on All Smartphones – Because Who Doesn’t Want More Undeletable Music?
DUBLIN, IRELAND – Just when you thought it was safe to update your smartphone, legendary rock band U2 has announced the release of their…
· By Martin Finch
-
Opinion
Guitarists Have Been Playing ‘Smoke on The Water’ Wrong This Whole Time
It’s a classic rock tune that has been around for generations; a song that just about everyone knows and loves. But it turns out…
· By Martin Finch
-
Music
Misha Mansoor’s Divine Revelation: Periphery Frontman Declares Himself God, Launches Holy Water Line to Quench the Thirst of Metalheads Everywhere
Transcending Mortality: Mansoor Unveils Ultimate Hydration for the Faithful SILVER SPRING, MD – In a stunning proclamation that has sent shockwaves through the metal…
· By Martin Finch
-
Life & Style
U.S. Banks Topple Like Dominos: Savvy Investors Now Flocking to the Bank of Mattress for Unparalleled Financial Security
SLEEPY HOLLOW, USA – As U.S. banks continue to crumble under the weight of their fiscal irresponsibility, Americans everywhere seek safe havens for their…
· By Martin Finch
-
Music
Blink 182 Now Officially Limp 182: Band Members Can’t Even Blink Without Straining Their Aching Joints
LOS ANGELES, CA – Nostalgia, they say, is a hell of a drug. But for fans of the once-youthful punk rock band Blink 182,…
· By Martin Finch
-
Life & Style
Woman Breaks Through Glass Ceiling With Refusal to Pay For Coffee
In a historic moment for women everywhere, one brave woman has broken through the glass ceiling, refusing to pay for her coffee. The unnamed…
· By Martin Finch
-
Opinion
The Lil Conundrum: Why Rappers Are Stuck with Tiny Nicknames, and How It’s Affecting the Hip-Hop Industry
In the world of hip-hop, it seems like everyone is a “Lil” something these days. From Lil Wayne to Lil Nas X, the rap…
· By Martin Finch
-
Music
Eminem Releases New Album with Lyrics So Offensive, Even He Can’t Stand It
Rap superstar Eminem has done it again. In a shocking announcement today, the hip-hop icon revealed that he has been working on a new…
· By Martin Finch
-
Entertainment
Hugh Grant Wins Oscars 2023 Award for Most Unlikeable Cunt, Thanks Fans for Their Support
Los Angeles, CA – The Oscars 2023 were filled with surprises and controversy, but one thing remained the same: Hugh Grant is still an…
· By Martin Finch
-
Opinion
I Put My $5 Million Life Savings into Silicon Valley Bank – Here’s What Happened
Silicon Valley, CA – As someone who’s always been passionate about investing, I knew I had to put my $5 million worth of life…
· By Martin Finch