Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
-
Entertainment
Jake Paul’s Sperm Loses the Battle to His Left Hook: Joe Rogan Reveals the Shocking Tale of Virility and Vanity
In the world of celebrity brawls, there’s nothing quite as astounding as Jake Paul’s left hook, except perhaps his sperm’s performance—or lack thereof. That’s…
· By Martin Finch
-
Entertainment
He’s Back, Baby! Justin Timberlake’s Miraculous Resurrection From the Cross Proves He Can’t Stop the Feeling… Or Death!
Hold on to your hats, people. Our boy Justin Timberlake has just taken history’s most jaw-dropping comeback tour. Forget about the charts, the stages,…
· By Martin Finch
-
Politics
Kim Jong Un Blasts Food Shortage Gossip to Smithereens – Literally, with Missiles!
Bam! Who needs bread when you’ve got rockets? That’s right, Kim Jong Un, the Supreme Leader with a penchant for pyrotechnics, has just sent…
· By Martin Finch
-
Music
The Weeknd’s Latest Announcement Will Melt Your Face Off – Literally!
Stop the presses and hold onto your hairpieces, because The Weeknd just dropped a bombshell that’s about to explode your mundane Monday into a…
· By Martin Finch
-
Life & Style
Men, Pizza, and Equality – How a Male-Only Pizza Joint Is Breaking the Gender Crust Barrier for an Extra Slice of Cash
Hold onto your pepperonis, dear pizza enthusiasts, because the world’s most macho pizzeria now serves slices of equality with a side of capitalism. That’s…
· By Martin Finch
-
Politics
Trump Ditches Politics for Fashion—Unveils MAGA Chic, A Clothing Line So Red, It Makes Tomatoes Jealous!
Oh, baby, sit down and strap in because The Donald is back! Only this time, he’s ditching those political rallies for the runway. Yeah,…
· By Martin Finch
-
Entertainment
Royal Leak! Prince Harry Now Wipes After He Pees, and the Internet Wants Meghan Arrested for ‘Toilet Tampering’
Ah, the British Royal Family! A symbol of dignity, grace, and—wait for it—proper pee etiquette? You read that right, folks. Rumors are swirling faster…
· By Martin Finch
-
Science & Technology
Elon Musk Shows Unprecedented Mercy: Snips Only 3 Fingers from SpaceX Leaker’s Hand! The Compassionate Billionaire Strikes Again
They say charity starts at home, but for Elon Musk, it seems that benevolence starts at the fingertips – or rather, ends there. In…
· By Martin Finch
-
Science & Technology
Paul Graham Unleashes New Essay; Internet Wonders If He’s Become the Yoda of Startups or Just the Jar Jar Binks
Ah, Paul Graham, the tech world’s favorite sentient beard, has done it again! The Y Combinator co-founder and self-anointed startup sage dropped a new…
· By Martin Finch
-
Science & Technology
Billionaire Peter Thiel Announces His Yacht Isn’t Fast Enough Due to ‘Computational Lag’ in Our Simulated Universe—Plans to Overclock Reality
Hold the phone, Elon Musk—your Martian dreams might be on hold. Why? Because billionaire Peter Thiel, who once bankrolled the ambitious quest for eternal…
· By Martin Finch