Archive
Year: 2024
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Life & Style
Your Parents’ Divorce Is Officially Your Fault
In what can only be described as a monumental breakthrough in the field of parental blame dynamics, researchers at the Institute of It’s Always…
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Entertainment
Nation Shocked as Five Finger Death Punch Launches ‘Racist Wife Beater’ Clothing Line
The heavy metal band Five Finger Death Punch has announced the launch of their new clothing line specifically tailored for “Racist Wife Beaters.” The…
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Politics
Joe Biden Unveils Groundbreaking New Vibrator: The Bidenator, Continuing to Fuck the American Public in Unprecedented Ways
Wilmington, DE – In a move that can only be described as both ingenious and terrifying, President Joe Biden has taken his dedication to…
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Music
Liam Gallagher Shockingly Discovered to Be a Talentless, Hacky, Piece of Shit Who Can’t Sing, Write Songs, or Make a Decent Pint of Tea
Former Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher has been outed as a complete and utter fraud, revealing himself to be nothing more than a talentless, hacky…
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Music
Breaking News: Miraculous Ceiling Collapse Saves Thousands From Trapt Concert
Filed under divine intervention. The ceiling of the popular Trapt concert venue, Bucky’s Shitbox Saloon, collapsed mid-show in Boise, Idaho, saving thousands of unsuspecting…
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Music
Tom Kiely From Patient-Sixty-Seven Threatens to Take Out Competition with Violent Methods
Tom Kiely, the lead singer of Australian metalcore band Patient-Sixty-Seven, has threatened to have several rival bands “whacked” in a fit of uncontrolled rage.…
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Music
I HAD DINNER AT ROB HALFORD’S HOUSE AND I WISHED I HAD BROUGHT EARPLUGS
I had the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have dinner at the home of Judas Priest’s legendary frontman, Rob Halford. As a casual listener of his…
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Music
Slayer’s Reunion: As Tasty as Moldy Bread
Legendary thrash metal band, Slayer, has announced their highly anticipated reunion, shaking the music world to its core. But don’t get too excited, because…
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Gaming
Rockstar Games’ Woke Gameplay Leak for GTA VI Second Trailer: Meet Transgender Protagonist Jazmin
Rockstar Games, the titanic developer behind the wildly popular Grand Theft Auto series, is allegedly preparing to release the highly anticipated second trailer for…
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Entertainment
Australia Puts Vegemite Ban on Logan Paul Amidst WWE Chaos: ‘Not Here, Mate’
As Logan Paul sets foot in Perth for his much-anticipated WWE bout, Australia has taken an extraordinary step to safeguard its cultural heritage and…
