Archive
Year: 2024
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Science & Technology
Government Officials Now Probing Cryptocurrency Investors’ Buttholes!
In a bold move to reel in those who have profited from the recent surge in cryptocurrency prices, the IRS has announced a new…
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Music
Local Man Discovers Shocking Reason Behind Daily Potato Deliveries: Limp Bizkit’s Wes Borland is Behind It All!
Local man Joe McGinty has uncovered the unsettling truth behind the mysterious potato deliveries he’s been receiving at his doorstep every morning. According to…
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Music
Periphery’s Frontman Spencer Sotelo Loses His Mind and Gets Political at Concert
The progressive metal band Periphery has gone full MAGA, with frontman Spencer Sotelo ranting about “the wall” and illegals voting in the 2024 election…
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Music
Tom DeLonge’s Legs in Danger as Loan Sharks Close In On The Blink 182 Frontman
Tom DeLonge, the frontman of Blink 182, is in some seriously deep water. According to our sources, DeLonge owes a massive pile of money…
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Music
Sex, Drugs, and Rock ‘n’ Roll: The Rolling Stones Get Kicked Off Flight for Wild Orgies
The iconic rock band, The Rolling Stones, faced an embarrassing situation yesterday when they were abruptly removed from a flight for allegedly attempting to…
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Science & Technology
Dr. Fauci and Bill Gates Announce Groundbreaking Partnership to Unleash ‘COVID-24’
The world’s most beloved and huggable villain, Dr. Anthony Fauci, has joined forces with the Zuckerberg of the nerdosphere, Bill Gates, to unveil their…
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Music
Ronnie Radke Deletes Twitter: Has the Peeing Messiah Finally Had Enough?
Ronnie Radke, the “Peeing Messiah” and frontman of the alternative rock band Falling In Reverse, has taken his social media presence down a notch…
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Music
Slipknot’s former drummer Jay Weinberg declares war on band, reveals devious plans for retribution
Former Slipknot drummer Jay Weinberg announced today that he will be focusing on his next venture: revenge. The musician, who was abruptly fired from…
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Politics
Donald Trump Announces Plan to Build World’s Largest Swamp-Pumping Station
Former President Donald Trump, the swamp drainer extraordinaire, has announced that he will “drain the swamp properly” if he wins the 2024 presidential election.…
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Music
Parkway Drive Goes Full Yeehaw: Band Announces Country Album
In an unprecedented move that has left metalheads worldwide spitting their craft beers in disbelief, Parkway Drive, the Australian metalcore band known for their…
