Archive
Month: June 2023
-
Music
Reviving Beatles Music with AI and Dumpster Nuggets: Paul McCartney Undead and Unapologetic
In a staggering act of musical resurrection combined with delightful vindication, Sir Paul McCartney wheeled out artificial intelligence to conjure an eerily fascinating unfinished…
-
Politics
Trump Cuffed: Will Holding Criminally-inclined Ex-Presidents Accountable Ruin America’s Time-honored Tradition?
You might want to sit down for this one because an earth-shattering crack has just split the fabric of our nation: beloved former reality…
-
Entertainment
Adam Sandler Strikes Again: New Netflix Film Promises to Destroy Another Evening of Your Life
LOS ANGELES, CA – Just when you thought it was safe to browse Netflix without fear of stumbling upon another cringe-inducing film, Adam Sandler,…
-
Entertainment
Tom Hanks and Police Engage in Bizarre ‘Wilson’ Shouting Match at Local Starbucks
Los Angeles, CA – A seemingly ordinary day at a local Starbucks quickly escalated into an absurdist spectacle when Hollywood legend Tom Hanks, upon…
-
Music
Throwing Shade: Morgan Freeman’s Bizarre Rant About Australian Metalcore Band Patient Sixty-Seven!
Perth, Australia – Hollywood legend and renowned voiceover artist Morgan Freeman has reportedly become embroiled in a bizarre feud with Australian metalcore band Patient…
-
Music
Post Malone Adds Even More Ridiculous Tattoos to His Already Crowded Face
Rapper Post Malone has added more permanent drawings to his crowded face. The new tattoos, which include a cartoonish depiction of a slice of…
-
Science & Technology
Mark Zuckerberg Requests Updates to His Software to Be Able to Express New Emotions to be More Relatable to Facebook Users
Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of Facebook, has requested updates to his software that will allow him to express new emotions to better connect with…
-
Music
Steel Panther Exposed as Government Mind Control Experiment
Who else had this on their 2023 bingo card? It has been revealed that the hair metal band Steel Panther was not a real…
-
Music
Tool Announces New Album, Releasing May 10, 2029 – Fans Wonder If They’ll Live Long Enough to Hear It
In a long-awaited announcement that has left fans both excited and skeptical, prog rock band Tool has revealed that they will be releasing a…
-
Music
Avenged Sevenfold Has a Special Announcement For Their Fans: ‘Fuck You, We’re on Acid!’
Avenged Sevenfold, have released their latest sonic onslaught with a heartfelt message for their fans: “Fuck you.” Their new album, titled “Life Is But…
