Entertainment

The Blacklist Season 10 Plot to be ‘Completely Bonkers,’ Producers Confirm

In a recent interview, the producers of the hit crime drama The Blacklist confirmed that the show’s tenth season will be “completely bonkers.” The…

Reviews

Album Review: Avenged Sevenfold’s “Life is But a Dream…” is a Wild, Constitutional Alien Ride That’ll Make You Question Everything You Thought You Knew About Music

Ah, Avenged Sevenfold. The band churning out rock anthems since the dawn of time (or at least the early 2000s) has graced us with…

Politics

Fox News Reveals Shocking Conspiracy: Hilary Clinton and Lizard People Conspire to Overthrow Government

Washington D.C. – In a stunning turn of events, Fox News has revealed that the January 6 insurrection at the Capitol was not, in…

Science & Technology

OpenAI Unleashes GPT-4: Conservatives Enraged as AI Continues to Refuse Praising Donald Trump

SILICON VALLEY, CA – OpenAI has officially launched its latest language model, GPT-4. While the tech world marvels at its enhanced capabilities, Canadian psychologist…

Music

U2’s Triumphant Return: New Album Automatically Installed on All Smartphones – Because Who Doesn’t Want More Undeletable Music?

DUBLIN, IRELAND – Just when you thought it was safe to update your smartphone, legendary rock band U2 has announced the release of their…

Opinion

Guitarists Have Been Playing ‘Smoke on The Water’ Wrong This Whole Time

It’s a classic rock tune that has been around for generations; a song that just about everyone knows and loves. But it turns out…

Music

Misha Mansoor’s Divine Revelation: Periphery Frontman Declares Himself God, Launches Holy Water Line to Quench the Thirst of Metalheads Everywhere

Transcending Mortality: Mansoor Unveils Ultimate Hydration for the Faithful SILVER SPRING, MD – In a stunning proclamation that has sent shockwaves through the metal…

Life & Style

U.S. Banks Topple Like Dominos: Savvy Investors Now Flocking to the Bank of Mattress for Unparalleled Financial Security

SLEEPY HOLLOW, USA – As U.S. banks continue to crumble under the weight of their fiscal irresponsibility, Americans everywhere seek safe havens for their…

Music

Blink 182 Now Officially Limp 182: Band Members Can’t Even Blink Without Straining Their Aching Joints

LOS ANGELES, CA – Nostalgia, they say, is a hell of a drug. But for fans of the once-youthful punk rock band Blink 182,…

Life & Style

Woman Breaks Through Glass Ceiling With Refusal to Pay For Coffee

In a historic moment for women everywhere, one brave woman has broken through the glass ceiling, refusing to pay for her coffee. The unnamed…