Music

Experts Confirm Tupac Shakur’s Death Caused by a Broken Heart, Not Gunshot Wounds

Experts have confirmed that legendary rapper Tupac Shakur did not die from gunshot wounds but from a broken heart. According to Dr Dre, who…

Music

Late and Lackluster: Frank Ocean Impersonator’s Coachella Caper Includes Tardiness and a Shameless Herbalife Plug!

As if the spectacle of a Fiverr-sourced Frank Ocean lookalike wasn’t bewildering enough for the Coachella crowd, the counterfeit crooner took his performance to…

Politics

Alex Jones Announces Presidential Campaign with Promise to ‘Make America Crazy Again

In a move that surprised no one, conspiracy theorist and InfoWars host Alex Jones announced his candidacy for President of the United States on…

Life & Style

J.K. Rowling Shocks Nation by Single-Handedly Saving Trans Person, Proceeds to Lecture on Gender

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling stopped her car on the side of the road to rescue a trans person from a burning vehicle, only…

Music

Tom Morello single-handedly devours entire chip bowl at party, leaving guests in shock and awe

In a shocking display of gluttony and disregard for basic social etiquette, musician Tom Morello brazenly consumed the entirety of the chip bowl at…

Music

David Draiman Reveals Disturbed’s New Album Will Drop ‘Whenever the Voices in My Head Tell Me To’

Chicago, IL – In a surprise move, Disturbed frontman David Draiman announced that the band’s highly-anticipated new album will be released “whenever the voices…

Life & Style

Elon Musk Finds Gem-Encrypted Dogecoin Mine, Raises the Stakes in Meme Economy!

Cupertino, CA – Tech billionaire and part-time Martian hopeful Elon Musk has once again shocked the world as he announces the unearthing of a…

Life & Style

Papa John’s Takes a Big Slice of the Woke Pie With Revolutionary Gender-Neutral Pizzas!

Pizza aficionados, brace yourselves – the pizza world as we know it is about to change! If you thought Nike and Bud Light cornered…

Music

Eric Clapton Has Had Enough! Gives Crowd the Middle Finger During Sold-Out Concert

Legendary musician Eric Clapton reportedly flipped off the entire crowd during a sold-out concert at London’s O2 Arena last night. The incident occurred during…

Science & Technology

Neil Armstrong’s True Legacy: The Man He Left on the Moon for Some Space Rocks

You may have heard the famous saying, “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” – well, we bet you haven’t heard…