Politics

Sleepy Joe Gets a Pillow Upgrade – Will This Give the President 2 More IQ Points?

Washington D.C. – Just when you thought President Joe Biden’s sleepy image couldn’t get any sleepier, he proves us all wrong with a revolutionary…

Life & Style

Company Runs Escape Room Team Bonding Exercise, Forgets to Leave a Window Open

SAN FRANCISCO – To boost morale and promote camaraderie, local tech start-up ByteNite thought, “Hey, why not try an escape room bonding exercise?” Little…

Music

Spreading the Love: Pearl Jam’s New Jam and Preserve Empire Proves They Can Rock Your Bread Too

Forget arenas and record albums; rockers Pearl Jam are about to dominate kitchen shelves everywhere. The iconic ’90s grunge band announced today that they…

Life & Style

What is a Woman?” Asks Incel, Who Hasn’t Lost His Virginity Yet

Hunkered down in his basement lair, surrounded by an assortment of waifu body pillows, 32-year-old self-proclaimed involuntary celibate (incel) Kevin McMasterson has embarked on…

Life & Style

Chaos in the Coop: KFC Unveils Emergency Protocols Amid Fears of Zombie Colonel Sanders’ Revival and Cravings for Employee Brains

LOUISVILLE, KY – An unauthorized peek at KFC’s top-secret playbook for dealing with potential crises has exposed a truly fowl scenario: one in which…

Life & Style

“I’m a Dog Mom!” Boasts Woman Condescendingly to Exhausted Newborn Parents

(New York, NY) At a local Starbucks on a sunny afternoon, tired newborn parents Sarah and Mike Thompson sipped their much-needed coffee while juggling…

Politics

Australian PM Albanese’s ‘Inflation Comedy’ Bombs Harder than the Housing Market Crash of ’08

Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, better known in the satirical circuit as “Albo the Comic Kango,” decided Saturday Night Live was a bit mainstream.…

Music

New Study Finds That Listening to Country Music Can Turn You Into a Farming Superstar

Are you a struggling farmer looking to boost your yields and improve your livestock’s health? Look no further than your trusty radio! According to…

Science & Technology

Mark Zuckerberg Denies Being a Robot, Raises Suspicion of Being a Robot

In a highly suspicious move, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg recently announced that he is not, in fact, a robot. The statement came during a…

Music

The Rolling Stones Unmasked: Child Labor Camp in Africa Revealed to Be the Secret Songwriting Force Behind Their Biggest Hits

LONDON, UK – For decades, the Rolling Stones have been hailed as one of the most iconic rock bands in history. However, recent shocking…