Life & Style

White House in Shock as Biden’s Sofa Reveals Top Secret Documents, Decades Old Receipts and a Half-Eaten Ham Sandwich

White House staffers were sent into a frenzy this afternoon after the discovery of several top secret documents, decades old receipts, and a half-eaten…

Life & Style

Dad Takes Down Cheesecake Factory Staff in Epic Cheesecake Showdown

An epic battle of epic proportions unfolded at the local Cheesecake Factory today, as one brave dad took down four staff members after they…

Music

Jeff Beck Still with Us, Haunting Rolling Stone After Flawed Article

Jeff Beck fans rejoice! After Rolling Stone’s article claiming the guitarist never had a signature song, Beck is getting his revenge from beyond the…

Entertainment

Sean Penn Lights Up a Cigar With a Wad of Cash, Talks About Privilege and Introduces Ukrainian President at Golden Globes 2023

In an unprecedented move at the 2023 Golden Globe Awards, actor Sean Penn lit up a cigar with a wad of cash as he…

Entertainment

Matrix Mania: Social Media Plagued by ‘Red Pill’ Addiction Following Arrest of Andrew Tate

In a bizarre turn of events, a mass psychosis event has been sparked on social media after Andrew Tate, a self-proclaimed British Kung Fu…

Music

Rolling Stone Admits It’s No Longer About Music Journalism, Announces Pivot to Toilet Paper

Rolling Stone magazine has announced that it is no longer focusing on music journalism, and is instead better suited for wiping yourself after going…

Music

Five Finger Death Punch Still Sucking: Even Family Embarrassed

It’s been years since the infamous metal band Five Finger Death Punch first emerged on the music scene, but it seems that the group…

Music

Parkway Drive on Mission to Conquer Pacific Island Nation: Fans Secretly Cheering Them On

In a shocking announcement today, Australian metalcore band Parkway Drive has declared war on the small Pacific island nation of Palau. The declaration surprises…

Entertainment

Logan Paul’s Soup Kitchen Visit Leaves Much to Be Desired

Logan Paul, YouTube sensation and internet star, visited a local homeless soup kitchen yesterday, but his visit did not leave a lasting impression. Paul…

Reviews

A Review of Harry Potter Hogwarts Legacy on PS5 by San Quentin Prison Inmates

The wizards of San Quentin prison were asked to review the new Harry Potter Hogwarts Legacy game on PS5 coming February 10th, 2023, and…