Music Archives - Page 7 of 34

14

In a staggering act of musical resurrection combined with delightful vindication, Sir Paul McCartney wheeled out artificial intelligence to conjure an eerily fascinating unfinished Beatles song, obliterating all tiresome tales…

12

Jun 2023

Music

Throwing Shade: Morgan Freeman’s Bizarre Rant About Australian Metalcore Band Patient Sixty-Seven!

Perth, Australia – Hollywood legend and renowned voiceover artist Morgan Freeman has reportedly become embroiled in a bizarre feud with Australian metalcore band Patient Sixty-Seven. The esteemed actor, known for…

11

Jun 2023

Music

Post Malone Adds Even More Ridiculous Tattoos to His Already Crowded Face

Rapper Post Malone has added more permanent drawings to his crowded face. The new tattoos, which include a cartoonish depiction of a slice of pizza and a portrait of his…

09

Jun 2023

Music

Steel Panther Exposed as Government Mind Control Experiment

Who else had this on their 2023 bingo card? It has been revealed that the hair metal band Steel Panther was not a real band but rather a top-secret government…

08

Jun 2023

Music

Tool Announces New Album, Releasing May 10, 2029 – Fans Wonder If They’ll Live Long Enough to Hear It

In a long-awaited announcement that has left fans both excited and skeptical, prog rock band Tool has revealed that they will be releasing a new album on May 10, 2029,…

07

Jun 2023

Music

Avenged Sevenfold Has a Special Announcement For Their Fans: ‘Fuck You, We’re on Acid!’

Avenged Sevenfold, have released their latest sonic onslaught with a heartfelt message for their fans: "Fuck you." Their new album, titled "Life Is But a Dream…," is an intricate tapestry…

07

Jun 2023

Music

Elvis Costello is getting sick and tired of telling people, “No, I’m not that Elvis. You’re thinking of the other Elvis.”

Despite his impressive musical career and numerous accolades, the legendary singer-songwriter is constantly overshadowed by the other Elvis, who just happened to be a little more successful. "It's like, come…

05

Jun 2023

Music

Metallica Fans Left Stunned As Lars Ulrich Shocks Audience By Removing Prosthetic Limb From Orphan Child During St. Anger Performance

Metallica fans were shocked during the band’s most recent concert after Lars Ulrich stunned the audience by removing a prosthetic limb from an orphan child and using it to play…

04

Jun 2023

Music

Wake Dollar: The Band That Hides Behind Masks Because They’re All Cancelled Musicians

Filed under: not Sleep Token Up-and-coming band Wake Dollar has decided to hide behind masks at all times in order to conceal the fact that they're made up entirely of…

03

Jun 2023

Music

Slipknot Finally Admits: We’re Not Actually a Band About Tying Knots

After years of confusion and misunderstandings, Slipknot, the Grammy-award-winning heavy metal band, has finally come clean about their true identity. In a shocking press conference held yesterday, lead vocalist Corey…