Music Archives - Page 14 of 34

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NORWICH, UK - Just when the world believed it had reached peak suffering, Ed Sheeran, ginger-haired bard of the millennial age, has unleashed his latest musical monstrosity, "Eyes Closed." This…

24

Mar 2023

Music

Slipknot Fans Rejoice as Corey Taylor Leads Successful Coup in Australia

Sydney, Australia - Heavy metal band Slipknot has caused a stir in the land down under by leading a successful coup against the Australian government. The band's frontman, Corey Taylor,…

23

Mar 2023

Music

Father John Misty Becomes Priest After Years of Singing Profanities

After years of singing profanities and writing songs about the dark side of life, singer-songwriter Father John Misty has decided to take a new direction in his career. The artist,…

22

Mar 2023

Music

Nickelback Shocked to Learn That People Have Hated Their Music for Years

Nickelback was in for a surprise when they learned that people have disliked their music for years. Bandleader Chad Kroeger had this to say: "I'm honestly blown away by this.…

22

Mar 2023

Music

Dr Dre Forced to Admit He’s Not a Real Doctor After Failing to Save Fan’s Life at Eminem Concert

A shocking revelation has come to light that Dr Dre, a legendary rapper and producer, is not a licensed medical doctor. The truth came to light during an Eminem concert…

19

Mar 2023

Music

Headstrong and Headlong: Ronnie Radke Overhauls Popular Monstour Lineup, Welcomes Trapt, As I Lay Dying, Black Veil Brides, Design the Skyline, Attila, and Five Finger Death Punch!

In the wake of Spiritbox's exit, Ronnie Radke did what he does best and shook things up for Falling In Reverse's upcoming tour, transforming the Popular Monstour into a rock…

19

Mar 2023

Music

OMG! Rock Star Brendan Urie Solves the Ultimate Baby-Making Mystery – Exclusive Inside Scoop!

Los Angeles, CA - In an unexpected and wildly unanticipated move, Panic! At The Disco's lead singer, Brendan Urie, took to Twitter last night to ask his adoring fans one…

19

Mar 2023

Music

Report: 99% of People Who Own Vinyl Are Posers That Don’t Vinyl Players and Will Die Alone With Zero Integrity

In a recent report released by the Music Appreciation Association, it has been discovered that an astounding 99% of people who purchase vinyl records do not actually own a vinyl…

18

Mar 2023

Music

Kanye’s Boulevard of Broken Dreams: Yeezy Shoes and CDs Now Sold by the Man Himself on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame

Hollywood, CA - In a scene with fans and foes shaking their heads, Kanye West, the once-untouchable music mogul, has been spotted peddling Yeezy shoes and copies of his own…

18

Mar 2023

Music

The Secret Taylor Swift Fan: ‘I Don’t Like Pop Music’ He Says, As He Sings ‘Shake It Off’

Bob Johnson, a self-proclaimed 'pop-hater', has been fooling his friends and family for years. He's always been very vocal about his dislike for radio pop music and his preference for…