Donald Trump Offers to Rat on 6ix9ine in Desperate Bid for Reduced Sentence

As the walls close in on Donald Trump, who now faces more than 30 counts of business fraud charges filed by New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg, the former White House occupant has concocted an unlikely strategy to escape the tightening grip of justice. In a twist not even Hollywood could see coming; Trump has…

ByAccomplished Author11 April 20230Comments

Politics

Trump Declares ‘World War III’ after Taco Bell Binge – Bathroom Salutes the Fallen

Palms Springs, FL – Just when we thought the verdict was in on former President Donald Trump's social media career, he resurfaces like a spicy jalapeño popper on his new platform, Truth Social. Trump posted what seemed to be a bone-chilling declaration: 'World War III', sending throngs of anxiety-ridden netizens into an all-out panic. Little…

ByAccomplished Author10 April 20230Comments

Politics

Donald Trump Rides Jetski to Freedom: Manhattan DA’s Indictment Just Water Under the Bridge!

Manhattan, NY - Just when you thought 2023 couldn't get any more bizarre, former President Donald Trump was spotted zipping around the Hudson River on a gold-plated jetski, moments after it was announced a whopping 34-count indictment against him for business fraud. Tossing caution and legal advice, the ever-entertaining entrepreneur put on a show that…

ByAccomplished Author8 April 20230Comments

Music

Brace Yourselves, Snowflakes: Born of Osiris Just Announced a MAGA-Inspired Metal Album That’s Guaranteed to Melt Your Safe Space

In the cacophonic world of metal, witness the unparalleled fusion of political soundbites and breakdowns that will leave you questioning reality. Born of Osiris has turned the tables on political correctness and embarked on a colossal journey into uncharted territory – a full-blown MAGA-inspired concept album. Say goodbye to your avocado toast and put down…

ByAccomplished Author6 April 20230Comments

Politics

Checkmate, Manhattan: Donald Trump Offers to Write the Manhattan Grand Jury a Large Check

Manhattan, NY – As the world watched with bated breath, expecting a complex and protracted legal battle, former President and renowned businessman Donald Trump shocked everyone by offering a foolproof solution to the grand jury. In what can only be described as a seven-dimensional chess move, Trump suggested that he could present them with a…

ByAccomplished Author3 April 20230Comments

Life & Style Politics

From Handcuffs to Haute Couture: Donald Trump Indicted and Arrested, Immediately Lands GQ Cover Shoot

Former President Donald Trump has been indicted, only to find himself whisked away to an exclusive photoshoot for GQ magazine. In what can only be described as the most audacious and unexpected career pivot in recent memory, Trump now graces the cover of GQ's latest issue, clad in prison-issued pinstripes and a smoldering gaze that…

ByAccomplished Author31 March 20230Comments

Life & Style

LOCK HIM UP! Donald Trump Defies Apron Commandment, Cook’s Lips Left Unkissed

It was a sweltering summer afternoon in the heart of Texas, where the air was as thick as the barbecue sauce slathered on the ribs. The scene: a glorious backyard BBQ, complete with the smoky aroma of charred meats, the sticky sweetness of homemade baked beans, and the mouth-watering sensation that is potato salad. Enter…

ByAccomplished Author30 March 20230Comments

Politics

Puff Daddy: If Donald Trump Is So Bad, Why Does He Look So Good In These Stylish Puffer Vests?

New York, NY - In a world where your fashion choices can make or break your public image, one man stands tall in the face of adversity, rocking a puffer vest like it's nobody's business. We're talking about none other than former President Donald J. Trump. Despite his divisive political career and controversial persona, it's…

ByAccomplished Author29 March 20230Comments

Politics

Ted Cruz Dodges Zodiac Accusations as Trump Indictment Grabs Spotlight: Snack Attacks Ensue

Washington, D.C. - Senator Ted Cruz can finally breathe a sigh of relief as Donald Trump's recent New York indictment rumors have captured the nation's attention, allowing the persistent claims that Cruz is the infamous Zodiac Killer to fade into the background temporarily. Now, the embattled senator can fully focus on his favorite pastime: finding…

ByAccomplished Author24 March 20230Comments

Politics

Donald Trump to Be Indicted for Leaving Toilet Seat Up in 2017

New York, NY - Former President Donald Trump has been indicted by New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg for the heinous crime of leaving the toilet seat up in 2017. No stone has been left unturned in the quest for justice, and even the most intimate corners of Trump's life are being scrutinized. The indictment,…

ByAccomplished Author24 March 20230Comments