Politics Archives

05

The Supreme Court of the United States, in a unanimous decision, has ruled that the former President, Donald Trump, is in fact a genius. The decision, handed down in a…

03

Mar 2024

Politics

Donald Trump Promises Gourmet Meals and Daily Yoga at New Trump Jail: Is This the Prison of the Future?

Former President Donald Trump has announced the launch of "Trump Jail," a brand-new business venture aimed at revolutionizing the private prison industry. As Trump faces potential jail time, his entrepreneurial…

28

Feb 2024

Politics

Donald Trump Announces Plan to Build World’s Largest Swamp-Pumping Station

Former President Donald Trump, the swamp drainer extraordinaire, has announced that he will "drain the swamp properly" if he wins the 2024 presidential election. The statement has left political pundits…

27

Feb 2024

Politics

President Biden Announces Plans to Drop Nukes on Both Israel and Palestine

The global community has been left in utter shock as Israel continues its relentless bombing campaign against Gaza, leaving the city in ruins. Despite the widespread calls for a ceasefire,…

26

Feb 2024

Politics

Joe Biden Unveils Groundbreaking New Vibrator: The Bidenator, Continuing to Fuck the American Public in Unprecedented Ways

Wilmington, DE - In a move that can only be described as both ingenious and terrifying, President Joe Biden has taken his dedication to serving the American people to a…

01

Sep 2023

Politics

Kim Jong Un Blasts Food Shortage Gossip to Smithereens – Literally, with Missiles!

Bam! Who needs bread when you've got rockets? That's right, Kim Jong Un, the Supreme Leader with a penchant for pyrotechnics, has just sent a message to the world –…

29

Aug 2023

Politics

Trump Ditches Politics for Fashion—Unveils MAGA Chic, A Clothing Line So Red, It Makes Tomatoes Jealous!

Oh, baby, sit down and strap in because The Donald is back! Only this time, he’s ditching those political rallies for the runway. Yeah, you heard me right: Trump is…

28

Aug 2023

Politics

Political Tilt! Ben Shapiro’s Sperm Found Leaning Right, Declares They’re ‘Facts Over Feelings’

Renowned political commentator Ben Shapiro's sperm have been found leaning to the right. Literally, and if that's not enough, they've taken to chanting "facts don't care about your feelings" as…

25

Aug 2023

Politics

Trump’s Back on X! From Jailbird to Tweetmaster, the Orange Tornado Returns to Grift & Guffaw – Get Your Wallets Ready!

Well, butter my biscuits, it's happened! The one and only Donald Trump, the man whose hair could have its own Twitter account, has made a triumphant return to the world…

25

Aug 2023

Politics

Trump’s Mugshot Unveiled and It’s a Knockout! Arrested for Election Mischief, but His Hair Remains Above the Law

Donald J. Trump's long-awaited criminal mugshot has been released, taking the world by storm. Arrested for alleged election interference, Trump's mugshot overshadows the legal proceedings. Why, you ask? Because it's…