Elon Musk Finds Gem-Encrypted Dogecoin Mine, Raises the Stakes in Meme Economy!

Cupertino, CA – Tech billionaire and part-time Martian hopeful Elon Musk has once again shocked the world as he announces the unearthing of a one-of-a-kind Dogecoin Emerald mine. Now, that's a load of gem-and-cryptocurrency-infused banter we can all take a shine to! It all started when Musk, the real-life Iron Man with a wacky sense…

ByAccomplished Author13 April 20230Comments

Entertainment

Small Rocket Syndrome: Taylor Swift and Elon Musk Have Broken Up

PALO ALTO, CA - You might have thought that Taylor Swift and Elon Musk's whirlwind romance was written in the stars, but it turns out that the size of the stars - or rather, the size of SpaceX's latest rocket - may have been the couple's ultimate downfall. In a breakup that has left the…

ByAccomplished Author9 April 20230Comments

Science & Technology

Elon Musk’s Generous Clown-Face Gift Leaves New York Times Red-Nosed and Speechless!

New York, NY - The New York Times Twitter account has lost its coveted blue checkmark after refusing to pay a measly $7 monthly fee. The verification badge, intended to authenticate the account as legitimate, was stripped from the account after it failed to meet Twitter's new policy. The New York Times had long enjoyed…

ByAccomplished Author3 April 20230Comments

Science & Technology

Elon Musk Caught Scrounging for Loose Change to Pay Off Twitter Debt

Silicon Valley, CA - Billionaire entrepreneur and real-life Tony Stark impersonator Elon Musk was reportedly caught rummaging through the depths of his sofa cushions in search of spare change. The hefty interest payment on his $44 billion acquisition of Twitter in 2022 has left the SpaceX and Tesla CEO in dire need of every last…

ByAccomplished Author29 March 20230Comments

Science & Technology

Forget ElonJet! This New App Tells You When Elon Musk Takes a Dump

In a world where tech CEOs are constantly under the microscope, one app is boldly going where no app has gone before – straight into the toilet. "ElonPoop," the newest sensation in the world of Silicon Valley apps, is turning heads and flushing away the competition by tracking the bowel movements of none other than…

ByAccomplished Author29 March 20230Comments

Life & Style

Elon Musk Seizes Control of World with Terror Drones

In a shocking move of global domination, tech mogul Elon Musk has unleashed his army of terror drones and has seized control of the world. The drones, outfitted with high-tech sensors and facial recognition technology, have been seen patrolling the skies of major cities like New York, London, and Tokyo. These drones have been programmed…

ByAccomplished Author18 March 20230Comments

Science & Technology

Elon Musk Finally Releases the Twitter #FauciFiles and It’s Not What You Would Expect

In a move that has amused and infuriated conspiracy theorists, Twitter CEO Elon Musk has released the long-awaited #FauciFiles, only to reveal that they're just a collection of silly memes and cat videos. The #FauciFiles have been a subject of intense speculation among QAnon supporters and other conspiracy theorists, who believe that they contain secret…

ByAccomplished Author20 February 20230Comments

Science & Technology

Twitter Announces New Feature: Only Twitter Blue Subscribers Will Be Able to Login. Paid Users Will Have to Send Tweets in Manually by Postal Mail

In a move that has Twitter users reeling, Twitter has announced a new feature for Twitter Blue subscribers. Starting next month, only Twitter Blue subscribers will be able to log in to the platform online, while non-subscribers must send their tweets by postal mail. And to make things even more exclusive, the Chief Twit himself…

ByAccomplished Author18 February 20230Comments

Science & Technology

Elon Musk Orders Twitter Engineers to Turn Twitter into an Elon Musk Digital Billboard

Tech billionaire Elon Musk has ordered Twitter engineers to turn the social media platform into a digital billboard for his endless self-promotion, after falsely believing that there was a bug resulting in less engagement with his Tweets. "Twitter is a great platform, but it could be so much better if it was all about me,"…

ByAccomplished Author15 February 20230Comments

Science & Technology

Elon Musk’s Twitter Takeover: The End of Sanity, The Birth of a New Era of Crazy

When Elon acquired Twitter, he promised to take the platform to new heights. Little did the world know, those new heights would be a rollercoaster of misinformation, conspiracy theories, and utter madness. Under Musk's ownership, Twitter has become the new Infowars, a breeding ground for some of the most outrageous and absurd claims to ever…

ByAccomplished Author12 February 20230Comments