Life &amp; Style

Dad’s Nice Shirt Raises Questions About His Intentions

It's a scene that plays out in households across the country every day: Dad getting dressed up for a special occasion. But tonight's occasion is different, and so is Dad's…

04

Groundbreaking Study Confirms Microwaving Smarties: Unlock the Ultimate Candy Experience, Enhance Your Intellectual Prowess

Brace yourselves, you sugar-obsessed pseudo-intellectuals: A team of dexterous scientists at the highly prestigious Albuquerque Candy Research Institute (ACRI) have unequivocally validated what you've secretly dreamed of all your life.…

03

Sick of Ticketmaster’s Astronomical Fees? Tough Luck, Pal: There’s No Escape from This Money-Sucking Giant!

It's a tale as old as time: anxiously waiting for your favorite band's concert tickets to go on sale, only to have your excitement quickly overshadowed by the looming dread…

01

Company Runs Escape Room Team Bonding Exercise, Forgets to Leave a Window Open

SAN FRANCISCO - To boost morale and promote camaraderie, local tech start-up ByteNite thought, "Hey, why not try an escape room bonding exercise?" Little did they know the hilariously ironic…

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What is a Woman?” Asks Incel, Who Hasn’t Lost His Virginity Yet

Hunkered down in his basement lair, surrounded by an assortment of waifu body pillows, 32-year-old self-proclaimed involuntary celibate (incel) Kevin McMasterson has embarked on an intrepid scientific quest to figure…

28

Chaos in the Coop: KFC Unveils Emergency Protocols Amid Fears of Zombie Colonel Sanders’ Revival and Cravings for Employee Brains

LOUISVILLE, KY - An unauthorized peek at KFC's top-secret playbook for dealing with potential crises has exposed a truly fowl scenario: one in which Colonel Sanders – zombified and hungering…

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“I’m a Dog Mom!” Boasts Woman Condescendingly to Exhausted Newborn Parents

(New York, NY) At a local Starbucks on a sunny afternoon, tired newborn parents Sarah and Mike Thompson sipped their much-needed coffee while juggling their 2-month-old baby, Emily. Just as…

18

Local Psychopath Terrifies Neighborhood by Not Rinsing Plates Before Putting Them in the Dishwasher

Residents of a quiet suburban neighborhood are living in fear after discovering that one of their own is a psychopath who doesn't rinse plates before putting them in the dishwasher.…

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May 2023