Theophilus London Becomes Hide and Seek Champion, Still Missing

World-renowned musician Theophilus London has officially been declared the world's first-ever Hide and Seek Champion, despite the fact that he has been missing since July of this year. The announcement was made to a packed crowd of fans and journalists in London, who had gathered to celebrate the musician's achievements. Unfortunately, Mr. London was not…

ByAccomplished Author31 December 20220Comments

Music

Robotic Vacuum Steals the Show at Imagine Dragons Concert

The Imagine Dragons concert at the local arena was rocked last night, but not by the band’s music. Instead, an unexpected guest – a robotic vacuum cleaner- completely stole the show. The audience was already in high spirits as the band took to the stage and launched into their first song. But just a few…

ByAccomplished Author31 December 20220Comments

Entertainment

From Strangers to Best Friends: How a Scuffle in an Airport Lounge With Russell Crowe Led to an Unexpected Bromance

It all started at the LAX airport when I decided to grab a bite in the first-class lounge. Little did I know that my lunch companion would be none other than Russell Crowe. It was awkward for us both, as I had just seen his latest movie and wasn't exactly a fan. Before I could…

ByAccomplished Author31 December 20220Comments

Music

Netflix Cancels All New Shows After Complaints of Too Much Content

In what is sure to be a controversial move, Netflix has announced that it is canceling all new shows and films due to a massive influx of complaints from subscribers about the overwhelming amount of content available. "We've heard our customers loud and clear," said Netflix CEO Reed Hastings in a statement. "They're tired of…

ByAccomplished Author30 December 20220Comments

Life & Style

Man with Limp Pushes Back Against ‘I Literally Can’t Even’ Meme: ‘It’s Not Funny, It’s My Life’

It's an overused phrase heard everywhere these days — from social media, to the office, to the mall: "I literally can't even." But for one man, the phrase is more than just an annoying meme — it's an everyday reality. Meet John Smith. John has been living with a slight limp for the past 12…

ByAccomplished Author30 December 20220Comments

Opinion

LMAO: How We Fooled Vegans Into Eating Real Meat By Starting a Fake Plant-Based Company

In a daring move, we have pulled off a feat that had been thought impossible - fooling vegans into eating real meat. After months of meticulous planning and preparation, we launched a fake plant-based meat company and have tricked unsuspecting vegans into unknowingly eating real meat. After extensive research, we stumbled across the idea of…

ByAccomplished Author30 December 20220Comments

Music

Chuck D. Admits Defeat: ‘I Should Have Invaded Britain When I Had the Chance

It's been a tumultuous week for Chuck D., the former leader of the world's most famous rap group, Public Enemy. After a long and successful career, Chuck D. recently made a stunning confession: his only regret is not staging a full-scale invasion of Britain when he had the chance. The revelation came during a recent…

ByAccomplished Author30 December 20220Comments

Life & Style

Australian Supermarket Chain Woolworths Enlists Aussie Defence Force to Accelerate Hot Cross Bun Rollout

In an ambitious move to maintain their dominance in the hot cross bun market, Woolworths has enlisted the help of the Australian Defence Force (ADF) to help accelerate their aggressive rollout of hot cross buns to stores across the country. The move comes after a recent announcement by Woolworths that they intend to have the…

ByAccomplished Author30 December 20220Comments

Entertainment

Nick Cannon Announces 12th Child – Insurance Companies Prepare to Go Bankrupt

Just when we thought it wasn't possible, Nick Cannon did it again. The popular TV host and entertainer has welcomed his 12th child into the world, an announcement that has sent shockwaves through the insurance industry. Insurance companies across the country are preparing for their worst financial nightmare as Cannon's latest bundle of joy continues…

ByAccomplished Author30 December 20220Comments

Reviews

Grandad Reviews: Metallica’s New Album ’72 Seasons’ is A Little Too Loud For My Ears!

As an old-timer who fought in the thick of the Vietnam War, lemme tell you, I've been through some wild situations in my day. Hootin' gibbons, the rat-a-tat-tat of machine guns, and that unforgettable whiff of gunpowder. But nothin', and I mean nothin', could've prepped me for the ear-splitting hullabaloo that is Metallica's latest record,…

ByAccomplished Author30 December 20220Comments