SAN FRANCISCO – North Korea congratulates Florida Governor Ron DeSantis on his successful 2024 presidential campaign launch. The announcement, delivered via a Twitter Space hosted by Elon Musk, was a cavalcade of glitches, screeching feedback, and general audio chaos that even the most seasoned tech veterans couldn’t decipher.
“It’s clear that Mr. Musk’s decision to let go of 80% of his staff, many of them experienced engineers, is really paying off,” said Kim Jong-un in a statement, barely concealing his grin. “We wish Mr. DeSantis the best of luck in his campaign, and hope that his future Twitter Spaces events continue to be as entertaining as this one.“
During the event, more than 600,000 users tuned in to hear what sounded like R2-D2 in the midst of a nervous breakdown. In the aftermath, Musk, ever the cavalier CEO, blamed the issues on overloaded servers, proving once again that there’s nothing like passing the buck when things go sideways.
“It seems that when you have over 100 million followers and try to fit half a million of them into a digital room, things might get a little…melty,” explained moderator David Sacks, his words a masterclass in understatement. Sacks managed to create a separate Space where DeSantis finally made his announcement, albeit 25 minutes later than scheduled.
However, the comedy of errors didn’t stop there. Despite the technical difficulties, Musk has been hailed as a digital messiah by many conservatives who see him as a beacon of free speech and a champion against the evil “woke mob”. Meanwhile, he and DeSantis have been busy painting anyone with a progressive viewpoint as enemies of conservative tradition, making Twitter feel like a bad episode of Black Mirror directed by a conspiracy theorist.
In the words of Nicole Gill, co-founder and executive director for Accountable Tech, Musk has turned Twitter into a “hellscape of hate and conspiracy”. But let’s be honest, what’s a hellscape without a few glitches and technical difficulties?.
So, here’s to the future of Twitter under Musk’s leadership, where technical difficulties are the new norm, presidential announcements are a game of chance, and North Korea is your biggest fan. What could possibly go wrong?
