In a move that has Twitter users reeling, Twitter has announced a new feature for Twitter Blue subscribers. Starting next month, only Twitter Blue subscribers will be able to log in to the platform online, while non-subscribers must send their tweets by postal mail. And to make things even more exclusive, the Chief Twit himself will personally oversee the approval of each tweet.
“We’re excited to offer this new feature to our Twitter Blue subscribers,” said Musk. “And as the Chief Twit, I’ll be personally overseeing the quality of the tweets that get sent in. So make sure you bring your A-game!“
Twitter Blue subscribers will enjoy a range of new features, such as automatic hashtag generation and the ability to customize their timelines based on their favorite memes. But for non-subscribers, the only thing that will be automatic is their disappointment.
“Wait, I have to type out my tweet on a typewriter, print it out on letterhead, and mail it to Twitter headquarters?” said one bewildered user. “This is insane!“
But some people are embracing the new changes with open arms. “I’m so excited to be a part of the exclusive Twitter Blue community,” said Twitter Blue subscriber, James Johnson. “And to have my tweets personally approved by the Chief Twit? It’s an honor!“
So for all you non-subscribers out there, it’s time to dust off your typewriters and get your letterhead ready. The world is changing, and Twitter is leading the way back to the 19th century, with a Chief Twit at the helm of it all.