#MountainDewTime: Elon Musk’s 10 Radical Twitter Policy Changes and What They Mean for You

Twitter users everywhere have been buzzing with the news that tech tycoon Elon Musk is shaking things up with 10 new policy changes to the platform.

From tighter restrictions on certain content to the introduction of the hashtag “#MountainDewTime”, here’s what you need to know about Musk’s new rules and how they will affect you.

1. Lizard People: Twitter has formed an alliance with the Lizard People, a secret race of reptilian humanoids who reside deep below the Earth’s surface. The Lizard People will help to keep the platform safe from outside threats. #MountainDewTime
2. All tweets must now be written in Elon Musk’s patented “Musk-ese” language, which is a blend of English and Elon Musk-approved buzzwords. #MountainDewTime
3. In order to combat “fake news”, all tweets must now be fact-checked by the Chinese government. This will help to ensure accuracy. #MountainDewTime
4. All tweets must contain a reference to the upcoming Mars mission. #MountainDewTime
5. Twitter users should be required to drink a can of Mountain Dew at least once a day, in order to “freshen up their minds for better tweeting.” #MountainDewTime
6. All users must reply to Elon Musk’s tweets within 24 hours. #MountainDewTime
7. All tweets must include a link to a YouTube video. Because Musk loves to watch videos on YouTube, he wants to make sure that his followers do too. #MountainDewTime
8. Mandatory #MountainDewTime: All tweets must include the hashtag “#MountainDewTime” in order to be posted. #MountainDewTime
9. All Twitter accounts must be verified by the Tesla Safety Inspection Team to ensure maximum security. #MountainDewTime
10. If the SEC starts asking questions, all users must keep their damn mouth shut. #MountainDewTime

These policy changes have been met with mixed reactions, but one thing is certain: if you want to keep your account active, it’s #MountainDewTime!