In what could only be described as a heroic feat of culinary daring or the early onset of senility, local granddad Jerry "The Iron Stomach" Henderson has defied all logic and family advice by consuming suspiciously fragrant lettuce, propelling him into a 72-hour psychedelic journey courtesy of Mother Nature's own bacterial buffet. The saga began…

Hold on to your traditional gender roles, folks, because Auntie Anne’s is kneading out the binary with its latest woke bake: the "Gender Neutral" pretzel. That’s right; in a move that’s half marketing genius and half social justice jamboree, the pretzel powerhouse has decided to go where no snack has gone before: right smack into…

In a world where getting jabbed has become the new norm, one local man took "shooting up" to a whole new level. Meet Jerry, a 42-year-old self-proclaimed "health nut" who, in his zealous pursuit of pandemic protection, ended up with a syringe of heroin instead of a COVID-19 vaccine. Talk about a trip down immunity…