OMG, I Did Cocaine With Lana Del Rey Last Night at This Super Cool LA Nightclub! But Did She Even Notice Me?

Last night, I found myself in the most unbelievable situation of my life: I did cocaine with the one and only Lana Del Rey at this popular LA nightclub that I'm definitely not going to name because I don't want to get in trouble, you know? Now, I'm not one to just casually do drugs…

ByAccomplished Author24 February 20240Comments

Music

EXCLUSIVE: Misha Mansoor Caught in Scandalous Orgy with Periphery Fans

Renowned progressive metal guitarist Misha Mansoor, better known by his stage name "Bulb," was caught red-handed in a scandalous orgy with a group of devoted Periphery fans, leading to the downfall of the once-mighty prog metal genre. The incident occurred last night during a secret meet-and-greet session hosted by Mansoor at his Los Angeles mansion.…

ByAccomplished Author24 February 20240Comments

Music

Ronnie Radke: The Peeing Messiah of Modern Music

Falling In Reverse's enigmatic frontman, Ronnie Radke, has recently been caught in a controversy following a series of inexplicable public urination incidents. As expected, Radke's devoted fans rally behind their fearless leader while the rest of the world is baffled and bemused. The first incident occurred at a popular fast-food joint in Los Angeles, where…

ByAccomplished Author24 February 20240Comments

Entertainment

How Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour is Fueling Climate Change and Making Billionaires Richer

In a world where a massive, glowing corporate emblem has replaced the sun, and the air we breathe is as thick and viscous as a freshly served pumpkin spice latte, there's one shining beacon of hope that's lighting up our lives: Taylor Swift's Eras tour. Yes, you read that right, the secret fossil fuel orgy…

ByAccomplished Author24 February 20240Comments

Entertainment

Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour Saves Australia from Catastrophic Recession, But at What Cost?

The nation teetered on the edge of economic collapse in the sun-drenched expanse known as Australia—home to kangaroos, Vegemite, and an alarming variety of deadly spiders. Desperation had seeped into the populace, with some resorting to dining on their footwear while the government's well of ideas had run dry. Even the Great Barrier Reef, a…

ByAccomplished Author23 February 20240Comments

Science & Technology

Elon Musk’s New Space Toilet: The Sh*t That Blew Up His Mars Plans

Once upon a time, in a galaxy not so far away, there was a man named Elon Musk. He was a billionaire with a big vision, but unfortunately, he also had a big problem - his personal life. It all started when Elon decided to take matters into his own hands and design a new…

ByAccomplished Author23 February 20240Comments

Music

Corey Taylor Weighs In On the Shape of the Earth: “It’s Complicated, But Also, Not Really”

Corey Taylor, the Slipknot frontman known for his insightful commentary on everything from the existential dread of existence to the correct method of eating spaghetti, has finally offered his much-anticipated opinion on the shape of the Earth. "It's complicated, but also, not really," Taylor elucidated, sparking a global debate that has, quite literally, changed absolutely…

ByAccomplished Author23 February 20240Comments

Music Reviews

Review: SUPERBLOOM by Silent Planet

Buckle up for a journey into the latest auditory anomaly unleashed by the paradoxically named Silent Planet with their album SUPERBLOOM. This album screams (literally) the botanical fact: flowers, too, can headbang. "Lights Off the Lost Coast" - This track is a musical representation of accidentally walking into a spider web, but instead of spiders,…

ByAccomplished Author8 January 20240Comments

Music

Jordan Fish of Bring Me The Horizon Inks Multi-Year Deal with Architects

Jordan Fish, the synth maestro of Bring Me The Horizon, has inked a historic multi-year contract with rival band Architects. The contract, rumored to be written on recycled, vegan-friendly parchment, includes clauses that are as unique as they are groundbreaking, such as mandatory vegan barbecues at every tour stop. The announcement was made during a…

ByAccomplished Author8 January 20240Comments

Music

Mac DeMarco Eyeing Off The Last Sandwich At The Office Christmas Party

It's the office Christmas party, and everyone is gathered around the refreshment table. Platters of snacks, cookies, and other festive treats abound. But there's one thing that's caught everyone's attention: the last sandwich on the plate. Everyone's eyes are on it, and the tension is palpable. But it looks like one person has decided to…

ByAccomplished Author1 December 20230Comments