Eccentric billionaire Elon Musk has announced his intention to hoard all of the cheese found on the moon for his own personal use. The audacious plan, dubbed “Operation Lunar Gruyère”, has left many in the scientific community and beyond questioning Musk’s sanity.
Musk, known for his bold and often unpredictable moves, revealed the plan’s details during a live-streamed press conference from his luxurious underground cheese vault. Flanked by an army of Swiss cheese guards, Musk declared, “The moon has long been a source of inspiration for humans. Now, it’s time for us to take advantage of its resources, starting with the cheese.“
The SpaceX CEO went on to explain that he had discovered the existence of a vast, underground cheese mine on the moon, which he intends to exploit for his own benefit. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,” Musk said, grinning maniacally. “I’ll be able to eat cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, every day, for the rest of my life. And there’s nothing you can do about it.“
The announcement has sparked widespread outrage and condemnation from cheese lovers around the world. “This is a disgrace,” said one cheese enthusiast, who spoke anonymously. “Musk is stealing our lunar dairy delights and hoarding them for himself. It’s not right.“
However, Musk remains unapologetic. “I’m not concerned with the opinions of the masses,” he said, polishing off a large chunk of Camembert. “I’m just here to make sure that I never have to go without my beloved cheese again. And if that means hoarding all of the moon cheese for myself, so be it.“
As the world looks on in disbelief, one thing is certain: Elon Musk’s cheese-hoarding scheme is truly the most ridiculous and absurd story of the year. But with the SpaceX CEO’s penchant for pushing the boundaries of the possible, who knows what other outrageous plans he has in store?
In related news, NASA has announced that it is considering launching a mission to the moon to retrieve some of the hoarded cheese in an effort to prevent a global shortage of dairy delicacies. “We can’t let Musk corner the market on moon cheese,” said a spokesperson for the space agency. “We’re working on a plan to rescue some of the cheese and bring it back to Earth, where it belongs.“
As the battle for the lunar cheese heats up, one thing is clear: the world will never be the same again. So, the next time you take a bite of your favorite cheese, just remember: it could have been destined for the moon, if it weren’t for Elon Musk’s insatiable appetite for dairy.