The nation teetered on the edge of economic collapse in the sun-drenched expanse known as Australia—home to kangaroos, Vegemite, and an alarming variety of deadly spiders. Desperation had seeped into the populace, with some resorting to dining on their footwear while the government’s well of ideas had run dry. Even the Great Barrier Reef, a jewel in Australia’s natural crown, seemed envious of the burgeoning landfill sites dotting the urban landscapes.
Then, like a plot twist in a daytime soap opera, Taylor Swift announced her Eras Tour would grace Australia with its presence. Suddenly, the country found itself amid a Swift-induced frenzy. Swifties emerged from every corner, exciting towns blue. The economy, sensing its moment, perked up at the prospect.
The Australian government, in a stroke of what can only be described as desperate genius, decided to jack up the ticket prices to astronomical levels, aiming to funnel the windfall into fixing… well, everything. The plan was brilliant—except for the tiny detail of not having a grand venue to host the pop queen and her legion.
However, there was one small problem. The Australian government didn’t have the funds to build a large stage to hold Taylor Swift and her massive entourage. They turned to the only possible solution: they would construct the stage out of the country’s most abundant resource – eucalyptus trees.
Thousands of eucalyptus trees were cut down and stacked high to create a stage fit for the queen of pop. The construction process was brutal, and it took its toll on the environment. Koalas were forced to find new homes, and the scent of eucalyptus oil was so strong it made Taylor Swift’s eyes water during rehearsals.
As Taylor Swift took the stage, the crowd erupted in cheers. She opened with a rousing rendition of “Shake It Off,” and the audience was entranced. The concert continued, with Swift performing hit after hit, each more electrifying than the last.
The strong scent of eucalyptus was like a siren song for the koalas that Swift had displaced.
The angry koalas, driven by their lust for eucalyptus, stormed Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour stage. The crowd was stunned as the angry koalas began to maul audience members, their furious claws ripping into skin and bone. The concert was abruptly halted, and the audience ran for their lives, leaving behind a scene of bloodshed and chaos.
Some things just can’t be shaken off.
