The global community has been left in utter shock as Israel continues its relentless bombing campaign against Gaza, leaving the city in ruins. Despite the widespread calls for a ceasefire, it appears that the Israeli government is more focused on vengeance rather than peace. But fear not, as the United States of America has stepped up to the plate with a brilliant plan to solve the Middle Eastern crisis.
In a surprising move, President Joe Biden has decided to throw caution to the wind and go full-on trigger-happy, announcing his intention to wipe the slate clean by dropping nuclear bombs on both Israel and Palestine. With this bold and entirely unhinged decision, the United States is effectively declaring war on both nations, but hey, at least we’ll have some peace and quiet, right?
According to sources close to the White House, President Biden was inspired by the classic 1980s film “Armageddon,” where a team of roughneck astronauts saves the world from a massive asteroid by blowing it up with a nuclear warhead. So, like any good leader, Joe Biden figured, “Hey, if it worked for Bruce Willis, it’ll work for me!”
This brilliant plan has garnered widespread support from the American public, with many citizens voicing their approval on social media. “Finally, a president who isn’t afraid to use the big red button!!” tweeted @Redditor420, while @ConservativeMom praised the move as “a necessary step towards making America great again!“
However, not everyone is on board with this nuclear extravaganza. The United Nations has expressed grave concern over the potential consequences of such an action, warning that the fallout could be catastrophic for the region and the world at large. But let’s be honest, who needs diplomacy and international cooperation when you have the power of the almighty nuke on your side?
In light of these developments, the Israeli and Palestinian governments have been left scrambling to come up with a response to this unprecedented threat. While some have suggested a diplomatic solution, others are taking a more direct approach, with rumors circulating that both nations are now working on developing their own nuclear weapons to retaliate against the United States. Talk about a nuclear arms race!
As the clock ticks down to the potential nuclear holocaust, the world watches with bated breath, wondering if Joe Biden’s brilliant plan will truly bring about peace in the Middle East or if it will simply end with the complete annihilation of two nations and the potential start of World War III. Either way, one thing is for sure: it’s going to be one hell of a fireworks show!
Thanks Biden.