In the cacophonic world of metal, witness the unparalleled fusion of political soundbites and breakdowns that will leave you questioning reality. Born of Osiris has turned the tables on political correctness and embarked on a colossal journey into uncharted territory – a full-blown MAGA-inspired concept album. Say goodbye to your avocado toast and put down those protest signs because Born of Osiris will teach you a lesson in patriotism and headbanging.
Prefacing the story in their quaint suburban rehearsal space in middle America, the band members sat down for a not staged press conference, wearing perfectly ironed suits and MAGA hats. Guitarist Lee McKinney addressed the room full of anticipation and artificial enthusiasm, stating, “We figured, why not create an album that captures the essence of dividing a nation and still gets people to mosh?“
Dubbed “Metal Helps Us See The Light,” this masterpiece of controversy and strings is the brain-child of a band that has been slowly losing relevance while trying to stay true to their heavier roots. Taking inspiration from the modern-day messiah of politics, President Donald Trump, they’ve created an album filled with blistering guitar solos and bellicose lyrics that will surely start the most patriotic of circle pits.
The album’s first single, “Fake News, Real Shreds”, is undoubtedly a middle finger to journalists everywhere. Fueled by a barrage of aggressive riffs, you can almost taste the hypocrisy in the air. Within the twelve tracks of thought-provoking absurdity, the album includes such soon-to-be hits as “Climate Change is for Pussies” and “Healthcare Scare: The Ballad of the Uninsured.”
The band claims they didn’t forget about the ladies in our divided nation, dedicating a special song to those strong, independent women working in the White House: “Alternative Facts, Thicc Racks”. The release promises to be a musical exploration of the more mundane controversies, such as the ever-so-precious avocado trade and Melania Trump’s speech plagiarism.
As if the mere concept of the album wasn’t enticing enough, Born of Osiris has managed to sweeten the deal by bringing some truly unexpected guest stars into the mix. “Metal Helps Us See The Light” boasts the band’s characteristic heavy sound and features the guttural vocal talents of Steve Bannon – whose roars are truly reminiscent of a grizzly bear choking on a copy of Breitbart News. He makes up for what Bannon may lack in a musical experience with an unbridled rage that translates perfectly into a metal atmosphere.
The album’s third track, “Throne of Tweets,” incorporates snippets from Donald Trump’s notorious inauguration speech, aggressive blast beats, and spine-chilling breakdowns. Born of Osiris cleverly samples Trump’s voice, twisting his words to blend seamlessly into the track.
Moreover, other MAGA-verse figures were not left out of this monumental project. Infowars founder and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones makes a shocking appearance in “Metal Helps Us See The Light.” Featured in the cryptically titled track “Chemtrails of Fury,” Jones lets loose with relentless three-and-a-half minutes of guttural screaming that rivals even the most seasoned metal vocalists.
Perhaps the most interesting collaboration on the album is “Filibusters and Breakdowns,” where tracks of Rand Paul’s 13-hour filibuster about drone strikes are accompanied by chaotic, intense guitar riffs and gut-wrenching screams that perfectly encapsulate the political storm that is modern-day America.
Born of Osiris writes in their official press release, “We are not afraid to tackle some of the most absurd yet pressing political dynamics through this album, and still, in classic Born of Osiris-ian form, bring the metalcore chaos that our fans expect from us.“
Hitting the road with their “Make America Metal Again” tour, the band plans to sell exclusively red, white, and blue merchandise along with limited-edition gold-plated VIP passes, boldly challenging the rebels who dare to believe in socialism.
The album is set to drop on May 30, with fans intrigued and confused about what has inspired this sudden shift towards the unapologetically political. Critics and senile politicians are expected to fumble through a considerable amount of head-scratching and “This is more confusing than a dyslexic reading James Joyce” analogies.
It appears Born of Osiris are entering the MAGA phase of their lives, and we are all for it as they cement themselves as the undisputed kings of MAGAxCore.
