Equality! All-Female LGBTQI+ Titanic Reboot Set to Sink the Patriarchy!

In what is being labelled as a ground-breaking feminist achievement, Hollywood has announced an all-female, LGBTQI+-inclusive reboot of the classic 1997 film Titanic. This revolutionary narrative update will chart the new course of sinking sexist and heteronormative expectations faster than the original ship hit that pesky iceberg. The promising remake, aptly titled "Titanique: Sailing Past…

ByAccomplished Author18 July 20230Comments

Music

Local Punk Band Writes Songs About Taking Down Corporations But Members Work Corporate Desk Jobs

Local punk band, The Corporate Exterminators, has been making headlines recently for their politically charged songs about taking down corporations. While the band is beloved by their fans for their anti-establishment messages, the band members have come under fire for their own corporate lifestyles. The band's frontman, Eric Smith, and lead guitarist, Tim Johnson, both…

ByAccomplished Author10 July 20230Comments

Life & Style

Papa John’s Takes a Big Slice of the Woke Pie With Revolutionary Gender-Neutral Pizzas!

Pizza aficionados, brace yourselves - the pizza world as we know it is about to change! If you thought Nike and Bud Light cornered the market on woke points with their recent trans-community initiatives, prepare to have your mind blown - Papa John's is showing they can roll out the dough in the name-change game,…

ByAccomplished Author13 April 20230Comments

Music

Local Metal Band Shocks Fans by Going Woke at Sold-Out Concert

In a move that has left fans scratching their heads and reaching for their earplugs, local metal band Iron Will took a sharp turn towards the woke at their sold-out concert last night. The band, known for their high-energy performances and head-banging anthems, shocked the crowd when they took a break from shredding their guitars…

ByAccomplished Author12 April 20230Comments