A Whiff of Wellness: Tom Morello Confesses to Smelling His Own Farts for Holistic Healing

Tom Morello has come forth with a bizarre yet oddly endearing admission: He sniffs his own farts in pursuit of holistic health benefits. Morello, best known for his legendary riffs with Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave has now aligned himself with a fringe subculture of gaseous gurus touting the healing power of self-supplied scents.…

ByAccomplished Author16 July 20230Comments

Science & Technology

Neural DSP Declares End to Capitalism with Archetype: Tom Morello

HELSINKI, FINLAND — In a ballsy move that would make Karl Marx break into an air guitar solo, Neural DSP has just announced the launch of Archetype: Tom Morello. This cutting-edge guitar plugin promises to transform your mediocre noodling into rock god riffage and end capitalism as we know it. We'll give you a moment…

ByAccomplished Author25 May 20231Comment

Music

Tom Morello single-handedly devours entire chip bowl at party, leaving guests in shock and awe

In a shocking display of gluttony and disregard for basic social etiquette, musician Tom Morello brazenly consumed the entirety of the chip bowl at a recent party, leaving guests scrambling for crumbs and questioning the meaning of justice. According to witnesses, the incident occurred during the party's peak, when the chip bowl was at its…

ByAccomplished Author15 April 20230Comments

Music

Rage Against The Machine has been caught playing at a corporate gig

Rock band Rage Against The Machine, who has long been known for their politically-charged anthems and anti-establishment lyrics, have recently been seen raging for the machine after selling out. The band, who is notoriously critical of corporate greed and big business, was recently spotted performing at a corporate conference for a large tech company. Sources…

ByAccomplished Author4 December 20220Comments