Local Metal Band Shocks Fans by Going Woke at Sold-Out Concert

In a move that has left fans scratching their heads and reaching for their earplugs, local metal band Iron Will took a sharp turn towards the woke at their sold-out concert last night. The band, known for their high-energy performances and head-banging anthems, shocked the crowd when they took a break from shredding their guitars…

ByAccomplished Author12 April 20230Comments

Music

Uh-oh! Rivers of Nihil Just Declared Global Thermostat War – And It’s Heating Up!

Well, buckle up, folks – because Rivers of Nihil have just thrown a sizzling curveball at the world, and it's about to change our future in the most bizarre way possible. In an unexpected announcement yesterday, the progressive death metal band has declared a full-blown global thermostat war, claiming to challenge the world's best scientists…

ByAccomplished Author8 April 20230Comments

Music

Born of Osiris Caught Red-Handed: Not Even Related to Osiris!

(Chicago, IL) - In a revelation that has shaken the music world to its very core, it has come to light that metal band Born of Osiris are, in fact, not descendants of the ancient Egyptian god Osiris. This earth-shattering discovery has left fans wondering if they can ever trust musicians again, or if everything…

ByAccomplished Author29 March 20230Comments

Music

Metalheads Brace for Impact as Self-Proclaimed ‘Tough Guy’ Announces Pit Appearance

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the metal community, Chuck "The Crusher" Green, a self-proclaimed tough guy, has announced his intention to throw down in the pit at an upcoming metal concert. "I ain't afraid of no mosh pit," boasted Green. "I've been training for this my whole life. I've been doing squats…

ByAccomplished Author25 March 20230Comments

Music

MacBook Pro Rocks Out: Hardest Working Musician in Metal Reveals All in Exclusive Interview

It's no secret that legendary shredders and dynamic drummers dominate the world of metal music. But one artist is quietly making a name for himself as the hardest-working musician in the genre—and it's not a human. The Macbook Pro has been making waves in the metal scene with its unique sound, complex rhythms, and a…

ByAccomplished Author20 February 20230Comments

Music

20 Unbelievably Innovative Metal Band Names Guaranteed to Make Your Band Stand Out

Are you tired of coming up with metal band names that have already been taken? Do you want to be the talk of the metal scene with a name that is truly original? Well, look no further! Here's a list of 20 metal band names guaranteed to make you the most original band in the…

ByAccomplished Author6 February 20230Comments

Music

Lamb of God Unleashes Wrath of Baa-dassery Upon Unsuspecting Fans

Fans of the heavy metal band Lamb of God have been left in a state of shock following their latest show. Reports of the band’s performance have left fans describing the event as “the most extreme experience ever.” The band showed up to the show wearing their signature sheep costumes, complete with wooly jumpsuits and…

ByAccomplished Author20 January 20230Comments