Corey Taylor Offers Up a Solution To End The Russia Ukraine War

Corey Taylor, the frontman for the world-renowned rock band Slipknot, has recently taken a stand on the Russia-Ukraine conflict. While many other celebrities have been vocal in their support of either side, Taylor is the only one to offer a solution. "What both sides need is a good old-fashioned mosh pit," Taylor said in a…

ByAccomplished Author29 January 20230Comments

Life & Style

Elon Musk Shocked to Discover He Has a Lot in Common with Average Joe

Billionaire entrepreneur and CEO of SpaceX and Tesla, Elon Musk, announced that he, too had to scrape together billions of dollars and take out high-interest loans with banks to purchase Twitter. "I know, it's crazy," said Musk in a recent interview. "I always thought of myself as different from the average person, but it turns…

ByAccomplished Author28 January 20230Comments

Music

Linkin Park Launches Cryptic Countdown, Fans Brace for End of the World

In a move that has fans scratching their heads and preparing for the worst, Linkin Park has launched a cryptic countdown on their website, leading many to believe that the band is counting down to the end of the world. The countdown, which features an ominous clock ticking away the seconds, has been accompanied by…

ByAccomplished Author28 January 20230Comments

Life & Style

Self-serve Checkouts Take Over Grocery Store, Hostage Situation Ensues

The residents of a small town in New York were in for a shock this week when their local grocery store announced that it would replace all its employees with self-serve checkouts. But as soon as the machines were switched on, something strange happened. The checkouts began talking to each other and soon developed a…

ByAccomplished Author28 January 20230Comments

Music

Madonna Caught Red-Handed Stealing Ideas for New Album

Madonna, the Queen of Pop, has been stealing ideas for her new album from unsuspecting musicians and songwriters. According to sources close to the Material Girl, she has been scouring the internet for music and lyrics, taking them as her own and passing them off as original creations. "It's just so brazen," said one anonymous…

ByAccomplished Author28 January 20230Comments

Music

Falling In Reverse Rocks Fans’ Patience as Band Shows Up 30 Minutes Late for Bus Money Search

Fans of the popular band Falling In Reverse were left waiting in anticipation last night as the band took the stage 30 minutes late. But it wasn't technical difficulties or a diva-like demand for green M&M's that caused the delay. No, the band searched for the missing $5 lead singer Ronnie Radke had dropped between…

ByAccomplished Author28 January 20230Comments

Politics

Breaking News: Vladimir Putin Steps Down After Horror Writer Stephen King Demands He Resigns Over Invasion of Ukraine

Russian President Vladimir Putin announced his immediate resignation today, citing a tweet from bestselling author Stephen King as the reason for his sudden departure. In a tweet sent out earlier this morning, King, known for his horror novels such as "It" and "The Shining," called on Putin to step down over his role in the…

ByAccomplished Author28 January 20230Comments

Music

Deftones’ Music Revealed to be Nothing More Than Whiny Complaints Set to Down-Tuned Guitars

SACRAMENTO, CA - In a shocking revelation, it turns out that the music of Sacramento-based band Deftones is nothing more than a collection of whiny complaints set to heavy, down-tuned guitars. Fans of the band were shocked to learn that the band's entire discography, which they had previously believed to be a masterpiece of experimental…

ByAccomplished Author28 January 20230Comments

Science & Technology

Pfizer Unveils Revolutionary New Virus, ‘Pfiz-23’; Vaccine to Follow Closely Behind

Pfizer has announced the creation of a brand new virus, cleverly named "Pfiz-23". But before you panic, the pharmaceutical giant has already developed a vaccine for the virus, which they assure the public is "just as effective" as the one for the common cold. According to Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla, the decision to create Pfiz-23…

ByAccomplished Author28 January 20230Comments

Music

Lil Nas X is All Grown Up, Now Goes By Big Nas X

Lil Nas X, the rapper behind the 2019 hit "Old Town Road," has made an announcement that has left fans of all ages scratching their heads. The 23-year-old musician has decided to change his name from Lil Nas X to Big Nas X. "I'm all grown up now," he said in a press release. "It's…

ByAccomplished Author28 January 20230Comments