Wow! We Let Elon Musk Drill a 4mm Hole into Our Skull and Now We Have a Headache

At Vanflip, we are always on the lookout for the latest trends and technological advancements, even if they sound like a terrible idea. So when Elon Musk announced that his latest creation, Neuralink, would be performing live brain-implant surgeries, we were the first in line to sign up. And boy, were we in for a…

ByAccomplished Author1 February 20230Comments

Politics

Democrats and Republicans, Shut Up and Pay Your Taxes Like Good Little Worker Bees: Your Money Will Help Fund the War Machine, Because Who Hates the Troops?

It's time to put aside our political differences and come together as a nation to do what we do best: pay taxes. That's right, folks! Whether you're a die-hard Democrat or a passionate Republican, there's one thing we can all agree on: taxes are a necessary evil. But why settle for just "necessary"? Taxes are…

ByAccomplished Author1 February 20230Comments

Life & Style

Bill Gates Defends Epstein Relationship, Claims He Only Ordered Off the Kids Menu

Billionaire philanthropist and tech guru Bill Gates has come forward to defend his relationship with the late convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. In a recent statement, Gates claims that he only had dinner with Epstein and "ordered off the kids menu". This bold defense of his association with Epstein has left many in disbelief and…

ByAccomplished Author1 February 20230Comments

Entertainment

Mr Beast Cures 1,000 People of Blindness, Angers God and Threatens to Unleash Satan’s Wrath

In a shocking move that has the entire world of spirituality and medicine on edge, internet sensation and philanthropist Mr Beast has defied the will of the Almighty and cured 1,000 people of curable blindness. Sources close to the bearded wonder claim that he was just trying to do a good deed, but the consequences…

ByAccomplished Author1 February 20230Comments

Music

Travis Barker Lives Up to His Name, Becomes Human Drum Set

Los Angeles, CA - Travis Barker, drummer for Blink-182, has taken his passion for percussion to a new level. After years of pounding out beats on the skins, it appears Barker has taken the plunge and become a living, breathing drum set. His transformation has been slow, but Barker's fans have noticed the changes. "He's…

ByAccomplished Author1 February 20230Comments

Music

Tim Henson’s Neck Tattoo Comes to Life, Wails in Agony

The members of the fusion instrumental band, Polyphia, have been in a state of shock since their guitarist, Tim Henson, appeared on stage with a screaming neck tattoo. The tattoo, which had been inked a long time ago, appears to have come to life, wailing in a deep, guttural voice. The other members of the…

ByAccomplished Author1 February 20230Comments

Life & Style

Experts Predict Economic Collapse in 2023, But Who Has Time for That When There’s a Cat in a Shark Costume

As the world teeters on the brink of financial ruin, experts are warning of an impending economic crash set to take place in 2023. But let's be real, who has the energy to worry about that kind of thing when there's a cat dressed up as a shark on the internet? According to reports, the…

ByAccomplished Author31 January 20230Comments

Music

Plain White T’s Vocalist Continues Creepy Stalker Song Streak with ‘I’ve Been Expecting You, Meghan’

In yet another display of his undeniable talent for creepily fixating on women he's never met, Tom Higgenson, vocalist of the Plain White T's, has released a new single entitled "I've Been Expecting You, Meghan." The song, which Higgenson wrote after catching a glimpse of a woman on the street who caught his eye, is…

ByAccomplished Author31 January 20230Comments

Opinion

Afghan-istan’t: Bands Too Afraid to Tour the War-Torn Country

In the music industry, touring is key to promoting your band and getting your music out to the masses. But when it comes to Afghanistan, it seems many bands draw the line. From U2 to Metallica, no one is willing to set foot in the war-torn country. But why? The obvious answer is that they're…

ByAccomplished Author31 January 20230Comments

Life & Style

Andrew Tate’s Romanian Pizza Chain Offering Unbelievable Deal

In what can only be described as an unbelievable deal, the pizza restaurant made famous by Andrew Tate on Twitter in Romania is offering a special combo package that's sure to revolutionize the pizza industry. The deal consists of a single large pizza and a large order of fries, all for the low price of…

ByAccomplished Author31 January 20230Comments