King Charles Found Dead of Embarrassment Following Prince Harry’s Latest Antics

In a shocking turn of events, King Charles (former Prince Charles) was found dead in his London residence yesterday, the cause of death determined to be embarrassment. According to sources close to the royal family, in recent months, King Charles had struggled to come to terms with the antics of his youngest son, Prince Harry.…

ByAccomplished Author5 February 20230Comments

Music

Courtney and Mike From Spiritbox Proudly Attend Adopted Son and Drummer Zev’s Graduation

Filed under: proud parent moment. Courtney and Mike from the famous metal band Spiritbox attended the college graduation of their adopted son, drummer Zev. As the band's youngest member, Zev has been a source of inspiration for Spiritbox fans and parents alike. And now, after years of hard work and determination, the young…

ByAccomplished Author5 February 20230Comments

Life & Style

US Military Mistakenly Shoots Down 78-Year-Old Carl Fredricksen and 8-Year-Old Russell’s Dream Adventure

Washington D.C. - In a shocking display of advanced military technology and zero situational awareness, the US military successfully took down an alleged Chinese spy balloon, only to find out it was actually the flying house of 78-year-old Carl Fredricksen and 8-year-old Russell, who were on a mission to fulfill the lifelong dream of Fredricksen's…

ByAccomplished Author5 February 20230Comments

Music

Spotify Users Stage Mutiny Against Algorithmic Playlist Suggestions

Spotify users across the globe have risen against the streaming giant's relentless algorithmic playlist suggestions. "I've had enough of Spotify thinking it knows what I want to listen to," declared rebel leader and self-proclaimed music connoisseur Jimothy Johnson. "I didn't sign up for this musical dictatorship. I demand the right to curate my playlists free…

ByAccomplished Author5 February 20230Comments

Music

John Mayer just banged your mother. What are you going to do about it?

John Mayer is at it again. The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter has again caused controversy with his latest antics - this time, it's with your mother. Yes, that's right - John Mayer has recently been spotted getting cozy with your mom. The two were seen out on a date and seemed to be having a great time.…

ByAccomplished Author5 February 20230Comments

Life & Style

US Shoots Down Chinese Weather Balloon, Leaves Millions Guessing Their Forecast

The United States military has taken down what they claim was a Chinese spy balloon, leaving millions of Chinese citizens without a clue as to what the weather will be like. According to sources, the US government had been tracking the suspicious object for a day or so before finally taking action. However, it turns…

ByAccomplished Author5 February 20230Comments

Music

Metallica’s James Hetfield Took a Year-long Journey Into the World of Olive Garden

James Hetfield, frontman of the legendary metal band Metallica, has been living a double life for the last 12 months - and it's all for the music. In an exclusive interview, Hetfield revealed that he has spent the last year working undercover as a waiter at Olive Garden in order to gain inspiration for their…

ByAccomplished Author4 February 20230Comments

Entertainment

Brendan Fraser: The Nicest Guy in Hollywood Lends Vanflip Enough Money to Keep Servers Running for Decades

It's no secret that Brendan Fraser is one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, but what many may not know is that he's also the guardian angel of Vanflip. Yes, that's right folks, you heard it here first. The once mighty satirical news organization has been brought to its knees by skyrocketing server bills, and…

ByAccomplished Author4 February 20230Comments

Politics

Joe Biden Promises to Bring Down Chinese ‘Weather Balloon’ After He Takes a 10 Hour Nap

Washington D.C. - In a surprising development, President Joe Biden has announced his plan to take down the supposed Chinese weather balloon that has been flying over the United States for just over a day. The President's announcement came after an epic 10-hour nap. "Folks, let me tell you something," Biden proclaimed at a press…

ByAccomplished Author4 February 20230Comments

Music

Rockers Roll On to Courtroom: Counterparts Perform Live at Jury Duty

Canadian metalcore band Counterparts have decided to make their upcoming show a very unique one. Instead of cancelling their show, they have invited ticket holders to join them at the courthouse for jury duty! Lead vocalist Brendan Murphy said, “We’re so excited to bring a little rock and roll to the courtroom! We know it’s…

ByAccomplished Author4 February 20230Comments