UFOs No Match for US Military Might During Superbowl Flyover

What was touted as the patriotic and awe-inspiring flyover for Superbowl LVII has been revealed to be yet another military attack on pesky extraterrestrial threats. "We thought it was just a routine flyover to pump up the crowd," said one bewildered spectator. "But then we saw the missiles and the lasers, and we were like,…

ByAccomplished Author13 February 20230Comments

Life & Style

Super Bowl LVII Prediction So Groundbreaking, You Won’t Believe Your Eyes: One Team to Defy All Odds and Emerge Victorious, While the Other Will…Not”

Leading sports analysts have made a bold prediction for Super Bowl LVII: one team will win, and the other will lose. Yes, you read that right. After months of intense research, hours of film study, and countless calculations, the experts have determined that the game's outcome will come down to a simple matter of which…

ByAccomplished Author13 February 20230Comments

Opinion

Spiritbox Concert Leaves Audience Spiritless and Box-less

We recently attended a Spiritbox concert, but we were disappointed that no spirits or boxes were found. We were expecting a show with lots of boxes to be opened and maybe a few spirits to be released, but all we got was the band and their music. It was a sold-out show, with the crowd…

ByAccomplished Author13 February 20230Comments

Entertainment

Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox Breakup: Pete Davidson Swoops In to Salvage What’s Left of Millennial Relationships

Anonymous sources close to the couple have confirmed that Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox have officially called it quits. After Megan Fox deletes all of her MGK photos and captions photos with cryptic shade throwing messages. She also followed Eminem and other MGK adversaries. The nation is left in mourning as yet another Hollywood…

ByAccomplished Author12 February 20230Comments

Life & Style

Aliens Finally Arrive on Earth, Just in Time for the Superbowl

In a historic moment for humanity, aliens from a far-off planet have finally made contact with Earth just in time for the biggest sporting event of the year: the Superbowl. The timing could not be more perfect, as the world was in dire need of a distraction from the pandemic and political turmoil surrounding China…

ByAccomplished Author12 February 20230Comments

Politics

#TrumpsLaptop Takes Twitter by Storm as Secret Documents Surface, But the Real Horror Show is Windows 98 and Icon-Infested Desktop

TrumpsLaptop has been making headlines on Twitter after top-secret documents were discovered on the former leader of the free world's personal laptop. But the real shocker? The man was still using Windows 98 as his operating system. Yes, you read that right. The man who once led the country was using a computer system that…

ByAccomplished Author12 February 20230Comments

Science & Technology

Elon Musk’s Twitter Takeover: The End of Sanity, The Birth of a New Era of Crazy

When Elon acquired Twitter, he promised to take the platform to new heights. Little did the world know, those new heights would be a rollercoaster of misinformation, conspiracy theories, and utter madness. Under Musk's ownership, Twitter has become the new Infowars, a breeding ground for some of the most outrageous and absurd claims to ever…

ByAccomplished Author12 February 20230Comments

Science & Technology

Reddit and Trump’s Truth Social to Merge

Reddit has announced its merger with Trump's Truth Social, a social media platform known for spreading misinformation and conspiracy theories. The two companies have long shared a similar vision of what truth is and will now join forces to create the ultimate haven for all things fake news. "We are thrilled to be partnering with…

ByAccomplished Author12 February 20230Comments

Recipes

Drink Time: Bill Cosby shares his special cocktail recipe with us and we’re getting sleepy already

We were all pretty shocked when Bill Cosby released his special recipe for a ‘sleepy-time’ cocktail. The comedian has been accused of drugging and assaulting women for years, but he seems to think that his new recipe will help everyone relax. So, if you’re feeling stressed out and need a good night’s sleep, here’s his…

ByAccomplished Author12 February 20230Comments

Entertainment

Will Smith Slaps World with Lawsuit Over ‘That Slaps’ Copyright Infringement

Will Smith, actor, rapper, and notorious wife defender has announced that he has taken legal action against many individuals and companies for using the term "that slaps" without his permission. According to sources close to the situation, Smith has claimed ownership of the phrase and is seeking damages in the millions for each instance of…

ByAccomplished Author11 February 20230Comments