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Album Review: Avenged Sevenfold’s “Life is But a Dream…” is a Wild, Constitutional Alien Ride That’ll Make You Question Everything You Thought You Knew About Music

Ah, Avenged Sevenfold. The band churning out rock anthems since the dawn of time (or at least the early 2000s) has graced us with their latest opus, "Life is But a Dream...". Just when you thought it was safe to put away your air guitar and start taking life seriously, they've unleashed this 12-track extraterrestrial…
16 March 20230Comments

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Science & Technology

OpenAI Unleashes GPT-4: Conservatives Enraged as AI Continues to Refuse Praising Donald Trump

SILICON VALLEY, CA – OpenAI has officially launched its latest language model, GPT-4. While the tech world marvels at its enhanced capabilities, Canadian psychologist and conservative intellectual Dr Jordan B. Peterson has raised concerns that the AI allegedly exhibits bias against former President Donald Trump while remaining lenient towards Joe Biden. Despite GPT-4's impressive language…
16 March 20230Comments

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Music

U2’s Triumphant Return: New Album Automatically Installed on All Smartphones – Because Who Doesn’t Want More Undeletable Music?

DUBLIN, IRELAND – Just when you thought it was safe to update your smartphone, legendary rock band U2 has announced the release of their latest album – and in a stunning display of technological wizardry, it will be automatically installed on every iPhone and Android device on the planet. The band's noble goal? To ensure…
16 March 20230Comments

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Music

Misha Mansoor’s Divine Revelation: Periphery Frontman Declares Himself God, Launches Holy Water Line to Quench the Thirst of Metalheads Everywhere

Transcending Mortality: Mansoor Unveils Ultimate Hydration for the Faithful SILVER SPRING, MD - In a stunning proclamation that has sent shockwaves through the metal community, Periphery guitarist and founder Misha Mansoor has announced that he is, in fact, a deity. The revelation came during a recent live performance, where Mansoor declared to the awestruck crowd,…
15 March 20230Comments

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Life & Style

U.S. Banks Topple Like Dominos: Savvy Investors Now Flocking to the Bank of Mattress for Unparalleled Financial Security

SLEEPY HOLLOW, USA – As U.S. banks continue to crumble under the weight of their fiscal irresponsibility, Americans everywhere seek safe havens for their hard-earned cash. Enter the Bank of Mattress: a revolutionary new investment strategy offering unparalleled financial security and the added bonus of a good night's sleep. Bypassing traditional investment vehicles, such as…
15 March 20230Comments

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