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Opinion

Report: this child who wants to grow up to be in a successful band wouldn’t last one night in a tour van with 4 other dudes who haven’t showered in three days

In a shocking report released today, it has been revealed that a child who dreams of one day being a part of a successful band would not make it through one night in a tour van with four other dudes. The child, who was not identified, was found to have a severe lack of understanding…
25 March 20230Comments

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Music

Polyphia’s Tim Henson Dives Deep Into Fishman Pickups Collaboration: Will You Take the Bait?

Dallas, TX - In what can only be described as the musical equivalent of a fish out of water, Tim Henson, the renowned guitarist from the progressive metal band Polyphia, has announced a groundbreaking collaboration with the esteemed Fishman Pickups. This partnership aims to create the ultimate underwater-inspired guitar pickups, promising to hook every listener…
25 March 20230Comments

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Music

Appetite for Wedding Destruction: Guns N’ Roses’ Slash Turns Wedding Photographer, but There’s a Catch: He Won’t Give the Photos Back!

In a jaw-dropping twist that proves even rock legends can't resist the allure of crashing weddings, Guns N' Roses guitarist Slash recently made a surprise appearance at an unsuspecting couple's nuptials. But wait, there's more! Not only did the iconic musician take on the role of wedding photographer, he's now refusing to hand over the…
25 March 20230Comments

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Entertainment

Move Over, Hitchcock: Tommy Wiseau Unleashes a Furry Nightmare in His Latest Cinematic Disasterpiece!

Los Angeles, CA - Hold on to your seats, cinephiles! The enigmatic and consistently perplexing Tommy Wiseau is back in the director's chair, this time unleashing a chilling feline-centric thriller that's sure to leave audiences clawing at the walls in terror... or laughter. Wiseau, best known for his unparalleled cult classic, "The Room," has somehow…
25 March 20230Comments

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Science & Technology

The Crypto-CEO Life: Binance Pauses Trading While CZ Jets Off with Suitcases of Cash

In a move that has both cryptocurrency enthusiasts and skeptics shaking their heads in disbelief, Binance, the world's largest cryptocurrency exchange, has temporarily suspended trading. But don't panic, dear readers! It turns out that the unexpected shutdown is simply due to CEO Changpeng Zhao, aka CZ, taking a much-needed and well-deserved vacation. Coincidentally, CZ was…
25 March 20230Comments

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