Mike Portnoy Caught Red-Handed Eating ‘Under the Table’ in Cheating Scandal

When we challenged the renowned musician Mike Portnoy to an eating contest, we expected a friendly competition. But what we got was something else entirely. Portnoy seemed to have other plans in mind when he entered the contest. Instead of bringing his A-game, he decided to bring some extra snacks with him, stashed away under…

ByAccomplished Author11 May 20230Comments

Gaming

Could Mario Be in Your Hometown? Nintendo Urges Public to Be on Alert!

Nintendo fans worldwide are in a state of panic after the gaming giant confirmed what we all feared: Mario, the company's beloved mascot, has escaped from the cell he was being confined in. According to sources, Mario was being held in the cell due to some behavioral issues related to a new medication he was…

ByAccomplished Author10 May 20230Comments

Music

We’re shook: Taylor Swift just announced the end of capitalism

The world was rocked today when Taylor Swift, the pop culture icon, announced her plan to end capitalism. That's right – the singer-songwriter has declared that she is fed up with the system of capitalism and wants to do something about it. In a statement released to her fans, Swift said that she had seen…

ByAccomplished Author10 May 20230Comments

Music

A Review of Take Me Back to Eden by Sleep Token

In a world where music has become the ultimate form of escape, the highly anticipated album "Take Me Back to Eden" by Sleep Token is upon us. The band has once again demonstrated their uncanny ability to create a sonic experience that is equivalent to being simultaneously hugged by a grizzly bear and doused in…

ByAccomplished Author9 May 20230Comments

Music

Sum 41 Breaks Up: World Mourns Loss of Band They Totally Remembered Existed

In a devastating blow to the music world, Sum 41, the band you definitely still care about and haven't forgotten since their heyday in the early 2000s, announced their official breakup on Monday, May 8th. The band plans to go out with a bang, releasing their eighth and final album, Heaven x Hell, and embarking…

ByAccomplished Author9 May 20230Comments

Entertainment

Wow! We Got a Leaked Copy of a Script for Breaking Bad Where Jesse Goes to Culinary School and Walter White Is His Cooking Instructor

The cult classic Breaking Bad was almost a very different show. Instead of being about an unhinged teacher that grooms one of his high school students into becoming a drug manufacturer and murderer, it's a wholesome show about Walter teaching Jesse to cook at culinary school. FADE IN: EXT. CULINARY SCHOOL – DAY Jesse Pinkman…

ByAccomplished Author9 May 20230Comments

Music

Thom Yorke Traps Unsuspecting Hotel Guests in Elevator and Makes Them Smell His Burrito Fart

Thom Yorke is at it again! Last night, the Radiohead frontman was seen pressing the emergency button in an elevator and forcing everyone inside to smell his fart after eating a burrito the night before. The incident occurred as Yorke was riding down to the lobby of his luxury hotel in downtown Los Angeles. As…

ByAccomplished Author8 May 20230Comments

Music

Breaking News: Machine Gun Kelly is a Loser

After years of speculation, sources have confirmed that rapper Machine Gun Kelly, also known as MGK, is in fact a loser. According to insiders, the Cleveland native has been struggling with a string of failures and setbacks in both his personal and professional life. Despite his attempts to maintain a tough, bad boy image, it's…

ByAccomplished Author7 May 20230Comments

Music

POV: You’re a Whammy Pedal and Kirk Hammett Is About to Violate You

As the room darkens, I can feel the anticipation in the air. I can feel the excitement from the audience - knowing that something special is about to happen. But I know what's coming next. I know that I'm about to be violated. Kirk Hammett is about to take me for a ride. He steps…

ByAccomplished Author6 May 20230Comments

Life & Style

Local Pizza Restaurant Goes Bankrupt After Anthony Fantano Gives It a One Star Yelp Review

It's official: Anthony Fantano's music reviews have officially gone from the web to the real world. In a bizarre twist of fate, a small, local pizza restaurant that had been in business for over 20 years has gone out of business not long after Fantano gave the eatery a one-star Yelp review. The restaurant, known…

ByAccomplished Author5 May 20230Comments