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Music

Beating Down Heritage: Stray From The Path’s Craig Reynolds Takes Mallet to China’s Great Wall and Noodles

" Setting the stage in his naturally grungy basement—peeling posters of obscure bands and discarded drumsticks adding a touch of dejected glamour—Stray From The Path's resident rhythm machine, Craig Reynolds, decided to light up the world like a firecracker at a gas station with a series of comments about China that have since set tongues…
31 July 20230Comments

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Life & Style

Dr. Phil’s Late-Night Taco Fiasco: How the ‘TV Therapist’ Turned into a Burrito Bellowing Bacchanalian!

DALLAS, TX - Picture this: It's 2 A.M. in the sprawling, neon-lit landscape of downtown Dallas. The only establishments still open are the ones serving up regret and heartburn in equal measure. Enter Dr Phil, America's favorite faux psychologist, who decided to swap his tailored suits for a pair of beer-stained shorts and an insatiable…
30 July 20230Comments

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Music

Scott Stapp’s Wallet is as Empty as His Cocaine Bag: Is it Time for Creed to Rise Again and Sponsor His ‘Habits’?

LOS ANGELES, CA - As the sun peers hesitantly over the City of Angels, somewhere in the dark corners of a well-worn recording studio, Scott Stapp, the once golden-voiced frontman of the iconic band Creed, finds himself in a predicament more twisted than the lyrical ambiguities of their mega-hit "With Arms Wide Open". Let's get…
29 July 20230Comments

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Life & Style

Haagen-Dazs Drops a Bombshell: No More Cow Semen in Their Ice Cream – Will It Ever Taste the Same?

Haagen-Dazs has announced its decision to remove cow semen from its ice cream recipe. The company has cited "health concerns" and "changing consumer preferences" as the primary reasons for this monumental change, leaving fans of the creamy treat to mourn the loss of an ingredient they never knew they adored. Haagen-Dazs has been a household…
27 July 20230Comments

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Music

Taylor Swift to Debut “Cntrl, Alt, Vax” Tour in Your City, Ready to Tickle Your Humerus with COVID-19 Vaccine

In the race against COVID-19, everyone needs a shake-up to the monotonous drag of daily life. So, grab your cowboy boots and kitten calendars because our intercontinental sweet-pie, Taylor Swift, is charged up, vaccinated, and ready to bring the sparkle and the Pfizer right to your doorstep on her new "Cntrl, Alt, Vax" tour. Yes,…
25 July 20230Comments

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Science & Technology

“Vaccines Now 200% Effective!” Declares Esteemed Immunologist Amidst Medical Tumult

Respected immunologist Dr Benjamin Credence, a leading authority at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine and known for his unconventional theories, sent shockwaves through a recent medical conference by announcing a staggering 200% effectiveness rate for modern vaccines. Dr Credence, famed for his cutting-edge exploration into "The Neurological Impact of Musical Genres on Geese," walked onto…
24 July 20230Comments

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Entertainment

Lorde of the Rings No More: New Zealand Revokes Lorde’s Citizenship After Singer’s Cinematic Blasphemy

New Zealand has stripped singer Lorde of her citizenship after she publicly declared that the Lord of the Rings movies are "absolute rubbish." In a desperate attempt to salvage their national identity, the Kiwi government has branded Lorde a traitor, now referring to her only as "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." The fiasco began when Lorde, in a fit…
23 July 20230Comments

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