Ronnie Radke, the perpetually unhinged screamo has-been turned Falling in Reverse ringleader, has officially sunk to a level of depravity that makes his past antics look like a toddler’s tantrum. The word on the street (and it’s a street you’ll want to bleach after walking down) is that Radke’s developed a stomach-churning obsession: chugging animal semen like it’s the last beer at a frat party. And no, this isn’t some kinky human-sourced side hustle. We’re talking straight-from-the-barnyard, fresh-squeezed livestock spunk.
The first whiff of this grotesque saga came from the sweaty confines of a Los Angeles recording studio last fall, where Radke was supposedly laying down tracks for his band’s next album. Instead, sources say he was busy slurping down something far less musical. “He’d vanish mid-session, come back stinking like a fish market dumpster, and act like he’d just won the lottery,” said one disgusted sound engineer. “His breath was a war crime, salty, rancid, like he’d gargled a tide pool and chased it with a raw oyster. We knew something was off, but nobody wanted to ask.”
The truth spilled out (quite literally0 when a janitor found Radke’s secret stash: a dozen grimy mason jars tucked behind an amp, each brimming with a thick, pearly sludge that looked like it belonged in a vet’s office, not a recording booth. “I caught him once, hunched over like a feral raccoon, slurping it down straight from the jar,” the janitor recalled, gagging mid-sentence. “He didn’t even flinch, just wiped his chin and grinned like a psycho. I quit the next day.”
So, where’s this revolting potion coming from? It’s worse than you’d ever imagine. Insiders are pointing fingers at a seedy petting zoo outside Vegas, where Radke’s allegedly been cozying up to the livestock, specifically the goats. “He’s got a thing for them,” said a former confidant who claims to have witnessed the madness firsthand. “He’d pet them, whisper to them, then disappear into the barn with a cup and this creepy little smirk. Next thing you know, he’s swaggering out, licking his lips and raving about ‘nature’s protein shot.’ I threw up in my mouth just saying that.”
Let’s not mince words: Ronnie Radke is allegedly guzzling goat jizz. Warm, frothy, straight-from-the-teat goat batter. And he’s not just dabbling, this is a full-on, unapologetic habit. Sources say he’s been spotted at the zoo so often the staff gave him a nickname: “The Milker.” One worker, who asked to remain anonymous because they’re understandably mortified, said, “He’d show up with his own jars, muttering about how it’s ‘better than steroids.’ The goats didn’t even seem fazed anymore, like they knew the drill. It’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.”
Radke’s always been a walking trainwreck. Arrests, feuds, that time he threw a mic stand into a crowd like a petulant child, but this? This is a new circle of hell. “He’s a sick bastard,” said a former bandmate who cut ties years ago. “I thought the drugs were bad, but at least those didn’t leave a stain on the carpet. This guy’s out here treating animal nuts like a juice bar.” Another source speculated he’s roped his roadies into the scheme, too. “Those losers worship him. If he said, ‘Milk the donkey, I’m thirsty,’ they’d be fighting over who gets to hold the bucket.”
We asked Dr. Leonard Fisk, a biologist with a stronger stomach than most, to break down the science. “Goat semen’s got some nutrients. Zinc, protein, a few enzymes, but it’s not a superfood,” he said, grimacing. “You’re more likely to catch a parasite than a buzz. Plus, it’s vile. Imagine drinking a warm, salty yogurt shake that’s been sitting in a barn all day. That’s what he’s working with.” Psychologically? “He’s either trolling the universe or completely lost it. Probably both.”
Radke’s team is scrambling to spin this, with his manager calling it “baseless garbage from jealous nobodies.” Radke himself posted a blurry (since deleted) Instagram video last night, chugging what he claimed was “just ranch, haters” while cackling like a hyena. Sure, Ronnie. Ranch doesn’t leave that kind of crust on your mustache. The denial’s flimsier than his vocal range.
Fans are predictably divided. The hardcore stans are crying “fake news” on X, with @Radke4Life tweeting, “He’s a legend, not a goat-fucker. Leave him alone!” Meanwhile, @MusicFan88912 wrote, “I’ve seen him sweat weird milky stuff onstage. Thought it was makeup. Now I’m burning my tour shirt.” The rest of the internet’s just hurling, both insults and lunch.
Industry vets aren’t shocked. “Ronnie’s the guy who’d drink piss to trend on TikTok,” said a promoter who’s booked him before. “Animal jizz? That’s just Tuesday for him.” And maybe that’s the game: shock value dialed to eleven. But when you’re chugging fresh goat spooge in a barn, you’re not a provocateur, you’re a freakshow with a fetish.
The next Falling in Reverse gig’s gonna be a biohazard. If Radke flings a jar into the pit, run. That’s not merch, it’s a misdemeanor waiting to happen.
