Look, we all love Grandma. She’s a sweet old lady with a heart of gold, a purse full of peppermint candies, and a suspiciously large stockpile of expired canned goods. But let’s be real—she’s not exactly winning a longevity award. When Grandma inevitably ascends to the great Bingo Hall in the sky, you’ll have some decisions to make.
Take this 100% scientifically accurate quiz to find out how you’ll spend the fat stacks of inheritance coming your way!
1. How are you currently treating Grandma?
A) Showering her with love and attention. She’s lived a long life and deserves all the care in the world.
B) Texting her once every six months so she remembers I exist.
C) Occasionally reminding her that my brother is a communist, just to secure my place as the favorite.
D) Standing behind her wheelchair at the top of a staircase, just… thinking.
2. What’s the first thing you do after hearing the news?
A) Cry. This is a deeply emotional moment.
B) Check Zillow to see if her house has “good bones.”
C) Fire up Amazon and type “yacht, but not tacky.”
D) Call the lawyer and pretend to be sad while confirming bank account numbers.
3. What do you hope to inherit?
A) The family Bible and a lifetime of cherished memories.
B) The house, because rent prices are criminal.
C) Cold, hard cash—preferably in a briefcase like in the movies.
D) Whatever she’s been hiding in that “DO NOT OPEN” shoebox since 1973.
4. Grandma left you $500,000. What’s your first purchase?
A) A responsible investment portfolio.
B) A Tesla, because Grandma would have wanted me to have an electric car.
C) A year-long vacation where I “find myself” in Thailand.
D) A solid gold statue of myself, standing victoriously over a gravestone that says “Thanks, Grandma.”
5. Be honest—did you ever “help” Grandma update the will?
A) No, that would be immoral and disrespectful.
B) Maybe I casually mentioned that my cousin is a bad influence.
C) I made some “edits” while she was asleep.
D) Let’s just say, that document was notarized by a man who definitely didn’t go to law school.
RESULTS:
Mostly A’s: You are a genuinely decent person. Grandma would be proud. Unfortunately, she left everything to your cousin because she forgot you existed.
Mostly B’s: You’re inheritance-aware but not evil. Expect a healthy payout, minus funeral costs and taxes.
Mostly C’s: You’re walking a fine line between morally questionable and straight-up scheming. But hey, at least you’ll be rich!
Mostly D’s: Grandma’s ghost is coming for you. And she’s bringing the wooden spoon.
Final Thoughts:
Grandma always said, “It’s not about the money.” But let’s be real—she was old, not correct. How will you spend your inheritance? Let us know in the comments (unless you’re in jail).
