Los Angeles, CA – Ben Stiller, the man who brought us slapstick classics like Zoolander and the mind-bending Apple TV+ series Severance, has reportedly taken his creative control to a new, unhinged level. Sources close to the actor-director claim he’s been spotted roaming Hollywood with a surgical kit, offering to perform real-life “severance” procedures on anyone who’ll sign a waiver.
The rumor mill churned into overdrive last week when an anonymous production assistant from the Severance set leaked a grainy video to TMZ. In it, a wild-eyed Stiller, clad in a stained lab coat, paces a soundstage muttering about “unlocking human potential” while brandishing a scalpel. “It’s not just a show anymore,” he’s heard saying, “it’s a lifestyle. Imagine never having to deal with your boss’s face outside the office again!” The clip ends with him chasing a bewildered intern off-camera, shouting, “Hold still, I just need to nick the frontal lobe!”
Insiders say this bizarre turn began during the production of Severance Season 2, which premiered last month to critical acclaim. The series, a dark satire about a company that surgically separates employees’ work and personal memories, apparently hit Stiller a little too close to home. “He kept joking about how great it’d be to sever his own memories of bad auditions,” said one crew member, who asked to remain anonymous out of fear Stiller might “come for my brain next.” “Then the jokes stopped, and he started sketching brain diagrams on napkins.”
Stiller’s alleged descent into DIY neurosurgery has left Hollywood buzzing and not in a good way. At a recent wrap party for the show, attendees claim he cornered Adam Scott, the series’ star, and pitched him on a “voluntary trial run.” Scott, ever the professional, reportedly laughed it off, only for Stiller to whip out a consent form and a rusty speculum he claimed he “borrowed from a prop house.” Scott declined comment, though his publicist issued a terse statement: “Adam is fine and has all his memories intact, thank you very much.”
The story gets weirder. A search of public records reveals Stiller quietly filed for a trademark on “Stiller’s Severance Solution” last November, described as “a revolutionary cognitive partitioning service.” Industry watchers speculate he’s trying to pivot from entertainment to some kind of twisted wellness empire. “He’s been obsessed with the idea that people would pay to forget their exes or that one time they bombed at karaoke,” said a former collaborator. “It’s like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but with worse lighting and a higher chance of infection.”
Not everyone’s buying the mad scientist act. Some suggest it’s an elaborate publicity stunt for Severance Season 3, which Apple has yet to greenlight. “Ben’s always been a method guy,” said Judd Apatow, a longtime friend and occasional collaborator. “He wore that ridiculous mustache for Dodgeball for six months straight. This could just be him hyping the show by pretending he’s lost it.” Still, Apatow admitted he’s steering clear of Stiller’s house until “the scalpel thing blows over.”
The public’s reaction has been a mix of horror and dark amusement. X users have flooded the platform with memes, including one of Stiller as Derek Zoolander captioned, “Blue Steel? More like Brain Steel.” Another trending hashtag, #SeverMeBen, has fans jokingly begging for Stiller to “erase my memory of 2020.” But not everyone’s laughing. The American Medical Association issued a stern rebuke, calling the idea “a dangerous fantasy from a man who clearly didn’t go to med school.” California authorities are reportedly looking into whether Stiller’s antics violate any health codes, though no charges have been filed—yet.
Stiller himself has stayed mom, dodging paparazzi and ignoring calls from concerned family members. His last public sighting was at a Santa Monica hardware store, where he allegedly bought a power drill and muttered something about “streamlining the procedure.” His wife, Christine Taylor, told reporters, “Ben’s always had big ideas, but this is next-level even for him. I just hope he doesn’t try it on the kids.”
For now, Hollywood waits with bated breath to see if Stiller’s severance saga is a genius marketing ploy, a genuine breakdown, or some unholy mix of both. One thing’s certain: the guy who once made us laugh at fart jokes has found a new way to keep us on edge. Whether that edge involves a blade remains to be seen.
