I’ve been a Christian mom for 16 years, and I thought I’d seen it all. Pokémon cards with witchcraft vibes, that Harry Potter nonsense, even Brayden’s brief obsession with Dungeons & Dragons. But nothing prepared me for the day my son brought home The Sky, The Earth & All Between, the new album from those British heathens in Architects. Dropped in a couple of days on satanic music label Epitaph Records, this is no mere music release, it’s a devil-worshipping manual set to a beat, and I’m warning every parent out there to keep it far away from your kids.
The second Brayden hit play on “Elegy,” I knew we were dealing with something evil. The singer, Sam Carter, starts howling like he’s possessed, screaming, “Hail the dark lord, bring the fire!” I grabbed my King James Bible and told Brayden to turn it off, but he just stared at me like I’d interrupted his personal séance. “Mom, it’s just metalcore,” he said. Metalcore? More like Satan-core. This isn’t like the Newsboys praising Jesus with a drum solo—this is the devil’s personal mixtape.
Next up was “Whiplash,” which I read on Kerrang! is a fan favorite already. Fan favorite for who? Demons? The guitars sound like chains rattling in hell, and Carter’s barking lyrics like, “Bow to the beast, the end is near!” I asked Brayden what it meant, and he shrugged, “It’s about politics or something.” Politics? The only politics here are Satan’s campaign to steal my boy’s soul. I told him to put on some TobyMac instead, but he cranked the volume until the dog hid under the couch.
Then came “Judgement Day,” featuring some girl named Amira Elfeky who sounds like she’s chanting curses over a keyboard. I swear I heard her sing, “Rip the cross down, let the shadows reign!” Brayden claims it’s about “inner struggles,” but I know better. This is anti-Christian propaganda designed to make kids rip pages out of their Bibles and start bonfires. The devil’s fingerprints are all over this track, and I’m not letting it corrupt my house.
The whole album’s drenched in blasphemy. “Seeing Red” has Carter yelling, “God is dead, we feast tonight!”—words that made me drop my casserole dish in the sink. “Curse” goes even further, with lyrics like, “Satan’s throne, our kingdom come!” I checked Metal Hammer online, and they’re calling it “uplifting” and “ Architects’ finest hour.” Finest hour for who? Lucifer? Brayden keeps saying it’s “just music,” but I saw him nodding along like he was pledging allegiance to the Antichrist.
By the time we hit “Chandelier,” I was ready to call Pastor Dave for an emergency exorcism. The song’s got drums pounding like hell’s gates opening, and Carter’s growling, “Burn the heavens, dance in ash!” I turned it off right there and told Brayden this filth was banned. He stomped off muttering about “free expression,” but I know the truth: Architects wrote this album with Satan himself holding the pen.
Parents, listen to me. This isn’t some innocent rock record. The Sky, The Earth & All Between is a 12-track love letter to the devil, and it’s targeting our kids. Brayden’s grounded until he can recite Psalm 23 without humming those demonic riffs. I rate this garbage zero stars, it’s not music, it’s a spiritual attack. Burn the CD, delete it from Spotify, and pray for anyone who’s already listened. The devil’s laughing, but I’m not letting him win in my home.
