Notorious musician Marilyn Manson has come forward with a startling revelation about his anatomy. During a recent interview, the self-proclaimed “Antichrist Superstar” confirmed long-standing rumors that he had one of his ribs removed in order to suck his own dick. However, the singer-songwriter has now revealed the truth: it wasn’t a rib he had removed; it was his penis.
The musician, whose real name is Brian Hugh Warner, broke the news in a candid interview with renowned journalist, Katie Couric. “I just wanted to be able to suck my own tits without any hassle,” Manson explained, his eyes gleaming with a sinister glint. “You know, it’s hard to find someone who shares your twisted desires.“
As Manson unzipped his fly to reveal the startling absence of a certain male appendage, Couric’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Oh, come on, Katie,” Manson chuckled, “you didn’t really think I’d go through all that trouble for a single rib, did you?“
Manson’s self-surgery, which he refers to as “The Great Dick-Lessening,” was reportedly carried out by the singer himself in a dimly lit, blood-spattered basement. Using only a rusty hacksaw and a dose of moonshine for pain relief, Manson managed to successfully sever the offending appendage and cauterize the wound with a hot iron. “I mean, I was high as a kite at the time, so it was really more of a challenge than I expected,” he admitted.
Despite the gruesome nature of the procedure, Manson claims that the results have been more than worth it. “Now, I can just pop my nipples in my mouth and go to town,” he said, demonstrating his newfound talent. “It’s like I’m my own fucking lover.“
The revelation has left fans and critics alike in a state of shock, with many questioning the legitimacy of the singer’s claims. However, Manson is adamant that the story is true, even going so far as to provide photographic evidence of the procedure. “Just look at this,” he said, displaying a gory Polaroid of the gruesome aftermath. “I mean, come on. Who would go to this much effort just to pull a prank?“
Despite the obvious pain and discomfort involved in the self-amputation, Manson insists that he has no regrets about his decision. “It was a necessary sacrifice for my art,” he said, his voice dripping with malevolence. “And now, I can finally say that I’m the ultimate self-sucker.“
In light of this shocking revelation, Manson’s fans have expressed their mixed feelings about the singer’s newfound lifestyle choice. “I mean, it’s definitely a bold move,” said one fan, who asked to remain anonymous. “But then again, it’s not like I was expecting anything less from the guy who shoved a crucifix up his ass on stage.“
Another fan, who identified himself as “Satan’s Little Helper,” was more supportive of Manson’s decision. “I mean, it’s not like I’m going to start sucking my own tits or anything,” he said, “but if it makes Marilyn happy, then who am I to judge?“
As for the singer himself, Manson remains unapologetic about his actions and is eager to share his newfound talent with the world. “I’ve been keeping this secret for way too long,” he said, grinning wickedly. “Now, the whole world can finally witness the true power of Marilyn Manson.”
