A local man, known only as Tim, has decided to take matters into his own hands by burning down a warehouse full of paper towels. Apparently, Tim has been hearing these ‘voices’ in his head for quite some time now, and today, they decided it was finally time to act on them.
“I was just minding my own business when I heard the voices,” Tim said, his eyes glazed over with a mix of rage and confusion. “They said, ‘You know what? That warehouse full of paper towels has been holding out on you for way too long. It’s time to burn it down.’“
And so, Tim took matters into his own hands. Armed with a lighter, a can of gasoline, and an unquenchable thirst for chaos, Tim stormed the warehouse, ready to make those ‘voices’ proud.
“I mean, it’s not like I really wanted to do it,” Tim said, his voice barely audible over the sound of sirens in the distance. “But the voices kept saying, ‘Do it for the greater good! Do it for the children!’ And I figured, who am I to argue with that?“
Tim stood back as the warehouse began to burn and watched the flames dance with glee, his heart swelling with pride. “I knew I could do it,” he said, a tear of joy rolling down his cheek. “I knew I could make a difference.“
Unfortunately, Tim’s moment of glory was short-lived. As the police arrived on the scene, they quickly apprehended Tim and took him into custody. “You have the right to remain silent,” one of the officers said, a smirk playing on his lips. “But I’d recommend not listening to those ‘voices’ anymore.“
Despite the harsh words from the police, Tim remains unbroken. “You know what? I’m proud of what I did,” he said, his voice filled with determination. “And if those ‘voices’ tell me to do it again, well, then you better watch out, because I’ll be back, and I’ll be burning down more warehouses than ever before.“
