The world’s most beloved and huggable villain, Dr. Anthony Fauci, has joined forces with the Zuckerberg of the nerdosphere, Bill Gates, to unveil their latest collaboration: the COVID-24 pandemic.
As if the initial onslaught of COVID-19 wasn’t enough to bring humanity to its knees, this dynamic duo is back with a vengeance, ready to wipe the earth clean of its pathetic, fleshy inhabitants.
“We heard your cries for more pandemic mayhem, and we’re here to deliver,” said Fauci, his grin widening as he donned a lab coat stitched from human skin. “This time, we’re not fucking around.“
But wait, there’s more! Fauci and Gates have devised a devious plan to distribute COVID-24 via 5G cell towers to ensure that no one escapes the wrath of their new pandemic.
“You thought 5G was just for faster internet and mind control? Well, you thought wrong, my friend,” said Gates, cackling like the diabolical madman he is. “We’re using 5G to make sure our new virus gets to every last corner of the globe.“
As the world prepares for the impending doom that is COVID-24, one thing is certain: we can all rest easy knowing that these two brilliant minds are behind it all.
“Don’t bother stocking up on masks and hand sanitizer,” Fauci warned. “Because this time, there’s no escape.“
So there you have it, people. The second coming of the pandemic apocalypse is upon us, and it’s brought to you by the same people who couldn’t make the first one work properly.
Stay tuned for more updates on COVID-24, brought to you by the twisted minds of Dr. Fauci and Bill Gates – because when it comes to pandemics, there’s no such thing as too much.