Jordan Fish, the synth maestro of Bring Me The Horizon, has inked a historic multi-year contract with rival band Architects. The contract, rumored to be written on recycled, vegan-friendly parchment, includes clauses that are as unique as they are groundbreaking, such as mandatory vegan barbecues at every tour stop.
The announcement was made during a joint press conference at what appeared to be a repurposed farm, complete with a vegetable garden where Sam Carter, the lead vocalist of Architects, was seen tenderly whispering motivational quotes to his tomatoes. “It’s all about synergy,” Carter explained, holding a tomato like a fragile crystal ball. “And Jordan’s synth skills, combined with our love for eco-friendly, plant-based living, is the fusion the world didn’t know it needed.“
Jordan Fish, donning a t-shirt that read ‘Synths, not Steaks,’ shared his excitement about the collaboration. “I’ve always admired Architects’ ability to scream passionately about important issues, like climate change and the price of avocados,” Fish said. “Joining forces allows me to bring my electronic wizardry to a band that can grow a mean zucchini.“
The contract, which includes a clause that requires both bands to participate in a joint vegan cooking show titled “Metalcore Masterchef,” is set to revolutionize how bands interact. “This isn’t just a musical collaboration,” Fish added, “it’s a lifestyle fusion. Expect our next album to have tracks titled ‘The Synth That Saved The Planet’ and ‘Ode to Oat Milk.’“
The announcement has sent shockwaves through the metalcore community, with fans divided between excitement and bewilderment. One fan said, “I came for the breakdowns, but I’m staying for the beetroot burgers.“
As for the impact on the music, insiders suggest that the new collaborative effort will blend the heavy, architecturally sound riffs of Architects with the electronic ambience of Bring Me The Horizon, creating a genre some are already calling ‘Eco-Core.’
In a secret memo accidentally leaked to the press, it was revealed that Sam Carter’s next project involves teaching a masterclass on sustainable vocal techniques using only the power of wind turbines. Meanwhile, Fish has been spotted at local farmers’ markets examining eggplants with a critical eye, possibly scouting for new synth inspirations.
As the press conference ended, the bands announced their first joint single, ‘The Sound of Sustainability,’ set to drop on all platforms, including a special edition released on biodegradable vinyl. The music industry has never seen a crossover like this, blending the raw energy of metalcore with the gentle touch of a green thumb.
As the sun set behind the eco-friendly stage, casting a warm, solar-powered glow on the attendees, one thing was clear: the future of metalcore is here, and it’s 100% vegan.
