2023 - Page 16 of 67

Exhausted Soccer Mom Delivers Knockout Blow to Conor McGregor in Walmart Parking Lot Brawl

It was a typical Tuesday evening at the local Walmart parking lot when washed-up drunk and former UFC champion Conor McGregor met his match. The once-fearsome fighter was taken down…

Music

Blink 182’s Linguistic Incompetence: A Study in Mispronunciation

It's a question that has plagued music enthusiasts for decades: why do band's like Blink 182 insist on mispronouncing words like "head"? After extensive research, we have finally uncovered the…

Music

It’s Official: It’s 2023 and Headless Guitars Are Cancelled

After decades of experimentation and misguided attempts at innovation, guitarists everywhere have finally come to their senses and realized that headless guitars are, in fact, fucking stupid. "We've been tricked…

Opinion

OPINION: How Can a Band With the Word Dragons in Its Name Be So Terrible? Imagine Dragons We Need to Talk

It's a question that's been on the minds of music lovers everywhere: How can a band with the word dragons in its name be so terrible? The simple answer is,…

Entertainment

Dr Phil Rocks the Metal Scene With Unfortunate Slip of the Tongue

In a shocking turn of events, renowned talk show host and self-help guru Dr Phil McGraw has unwittingly managed to anger a large portion of the metal music community. It…

Music

Juicy J’s Bed Bug Bonanza: We Bought a Mattress That Turned Our Bedroom into a Fucking Horror Movie!

We purchased a mattress from Juicy J's Amazing Mattress Emporium on a dark and stormy night. The neon sign flickered, casting an eerie glow over the damp sidewalk. Our old…

Life & Style

Shit Just Got Real: In-N-Out Burger Says ‘Fuck No’ to Fucking in the Restrooms

Straight from the grease-slicked heart of California, a travesty is unfolding. In-N-Out Burger, the fast food joint worshipped for its secret sauce and animal-style shenanigans, has just dropped a bombshell.…

Entertainment

Idris Elba Not Amused by Latest Internet Meme

It appears that actor, Idris Elba, is less than impressed with the latest internet meme that has been circulating. The meme features a photo of Idris with a caption that…

Opinion

Why Do Kings of Leon Refuse to Stop Making Songs About Fucking?

Ah, Kings of Leon. You salty dogs. You perverts. You'll write a song about getting your wick wet every chance you get. It's like you don't care if your fans…

Entertainment

SuperCum Trend Takes Over Twitter: Gen Z’s Earth-Shattering TikTok Craze Leaves Boomers Begging for Apocalyptic Asteroids

n the vast expanse of the internet, there resides a realm called TikTok where rebellious Gen Z-ers, armed with nothing but smartphones and questionable taste, churn out video after mind-boggling…